


Wait

by Chiisanafukuro (makuro)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Galra Culture, M/M, S8 compliant, S8 fix-it, allurance, but them breaking up, curtashi - Freeform, stupid stupid boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makuro/pseuds/Chiisanafukuro
Summary: Shiro just stared, even after Lance paused the feed again he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Keith. His brain was slowly, glacially, putting together all the words Keith said and what they meant. The great, grand implication of this entire announcement. Why Keith hadn’t come when Shiro had called, when he needed him. When, again, he’d selfishly wanted Keith to swoop in and glue him back together from the ruin of his life.In which there is one last fight Shiro must face.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 171
Kudos: 477





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for almost a year and it's finally all come together. 
> 
> Thank you to both Colie and Cani for looking this over <3

Takashi Shirogane was not lucky. In fact, he wasn’t sure what luck even looked like. He had none of it. Everything that he had he’d _made_ for himself, with bare hands and broken bones. 

All that hard work was being thrown back in his face at full force by Curtis right now. His husband’s face was pulled taut with deep frustration. “Are we even an actual relationship, or just another ticked box proving that Takashi Shirogane _can_? Because our marriage shouldn’t be proving anything at all. It should be about _us_.” 

Shiro stood there in their living room, travel bag still slung over his shoulder, the scent of juniberries from Allura’s homecoming celebration still on his clothes, and stared. “ _What_?” He had no clue where this was coming from. All he’d asked was if Curtis was up for an upper brass dinner that Iverson texted about five minutes ago. 

“ _It looks better if we’re both there_ ,” Curtis parroted back at him. “I’m tired, Takashi. We just got back from Altea. _You_ just got back from the mission to bring her back.”

“It was responding to a distress signal,” Shiro argued. “It wasn’t like we got into any battles. Curt, if you’re tired it’s okay, but after what’s happened, I need to go to this dinner. And it does look better if we’re both there since you went to Altea too.” Shiro set down his pad and bag, opening his arms in a placating way. 

Curtis shook his head and backed up. “No, no, you’re not getting out of this conversation.” 

“ _What_ conversation? Curtis, you’re blindsiding me here. What’s going on?” He dropped his arms. His husband clearly wanted nothing to do with him. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” Curtis stared at the floor, arms wrapped around himself. “Did you marry me to prove something?”

“No! Curtis, please, I…” Shiro sat down on the couch and rubbed his forehead. “This isn’t making sense to me. Where is this coming from?” 

Curtis scoffed. “You really can’t be that dense, you’re smarter than that, Takashi.” 

“Maybe I’m not!” Shiro yelled. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just frustrated and really, really fucking confused here Curt.” 

Curtis folded himself into the armchair across from Shiro. “You really don’t see it, do you?” He laughed, resentful and mirthlessly. “You don’t. Oh my god, I’m married to a man who doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“I don’t,” Shiro said. He swallowed, looking at his husband and realizing that if he didn’t figure out what was going on soon, he was going to lose him. “Tell me, Curt, please.”

“What do you like about Lance?” 

Shiro jerked and frowned. “What? What does Lance have to do with—“

Curtis sighed loudly, air pushing out of his nose. “Answer the question, Takashi.” 

“He’s honest,” Shiro said immediately. “And really earnest. He’s going to give something his all no matter what, and he’s not afraid to fail.” 

“And Pidge?”” 

Shiro licked his lips. “They’re smart, and they know it, but they’re not above saying they don’t understand something. They’re creative and just.”

“Hunk.” 

“He’s kind. He isn’t afraid to speak his mind or show how he’s feeling.” 

“How about Allura?” 

“God, she’s fire. She’s a leader and her humility always impresses me. She’s always ready to own up to her mistakes and stand tall for what’s right.”

Curtis hesitated, eyes darting away, posture stiff. “And Keith?” 

“He’s brave, and fierce. Passionate. Honorable—Curt, what is this about?” 

“What about me?” Curtis finally looked up at him again. “What do you like about me?” 

“You’re easy—“

Curtis scoffed and fell back into the chair. “There it is.” 

Shiro was ready to tear out his hair. “What? That you’re easy to be around?” 

“Yes! Every other relationship you have is… you _talk_ to them. You have in depth conversations with them and you’re actually interested in them.” Curtis deflated, the anger seeping out of him, leaving only sadness. “You come home to me for something you don’t have to think about.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Shiro’s gut shrank, sinking like a brick. There were a lot of things wrong with that, and he should know that. Should have known better than to say something like that. 

“Everything, Takashi. I want to be someone you have to think about. That you _want_ to think about. Not just someone you married for convenience or to prove you could.” Curtis stood, doing his best to stay tall and not break down. “I think we should get a divorce.” 

* * *

They talked for a week. Shiro thought of it as talking, at least. Admitting that it was a week of brutal fighting and tears, full breakdowns and colds nights on the couch while they both slowly came to grips with the end of their marriage was too much. They talked, and they decided, together, that it was time to call it. Shiro packed. It was quicker than he thought it would be. He wished it had taken weeks, that it was a painful and complicated extraction. But it wasn’t. His things were in their places, barely intermingled with Curtis’s, despite two years of marriage. 

He was on his personal ship and flying back to Altea in two weeks, like a dog coming home with its tail between its legs. There wasn’t any place else he could think of to go with his time off, his fresh divorce papers, and all of his things. 

Iverson had been the one to file for a sabbatical. Shiro didn’t protest it at all when Iverson brought the idea up.

Lance met him at the hanger. “Hey man. Hunk and Pidge are already here. We’ve got alcohol and junk food and a lot of movies. Huge variety.” 

Shiro nodded, feeling numb all over. “Keith?” 

Lance looked away. “He’s got stuff with the Blades. Said he couldn’t make it.” 

“Oh.” It was like the floor, what was left under his feet, had shattered. Keith was always there for him, good times and bad. He was Shiro’s right hand man, his best friend, the one person he’d always been able to count on. His chest felt tight, all he wanted to do was crawl back into his ship and drag Keith back from wherever he was. He wanted to see them all, he realized, but he _needed_ Keith. Keith was _always_ there for him. That’s just how it was. At least, that’s what Shiro had thought. 

“Oh,” he said again and, for the first time in an incredibly long time, burst into tears. 

The only thing left to do was get very, very drunk. 

“Jesus, man,” Lance groaned, flopping back onto the sofa. They were spread out over an ornate, plush sitting room, empty bottles of juniberry wine strewn about. “Like, I knew you guys weren’t perfect or anything, but holy shit.” 

“I’m not—“ Allura hiccuped. “I’m not entirely upset I didn’t— _hic—_ meet him before now. I can’t believe he would just— _hic_ —say someshing like-like that, by _gods_ , did this get stronger since I was a youth?” She slapped her hand around until she found a bottle to glare at accusatorily. 

“I think,” Hunk said from the floor. “We got weaker. Or maybe you did. I don’t think I ever would be able to handle this. I am so drunk guys. Also fuck Curtis.” 

“Here, here!” Pidge shouted. 

Shiro traced a finger around his own glass, playing with the condensation. “He wasn’t… wrong.” Words were hard, and harder to put together. He squinted at the wine glass. “I did just… want to get married. I thought it was—it was the thing I was ’sposed t’do. Y’know, save the universe, have the happy…” he swallowed around his inarticulate words. “Happy ending. Shit.” 

“Shiro swore!” Lance crowed. “Minus Captain America points!” 

“Nooo.” Shiro slumped forward onto the low table. “I’m ‘Merica’s ass now.” 

Lance flopped over and stared at Shiro’s backside. “You do have a great ass Shiro. Top tier. Could bounce many coinage off it.” 

Shiro snorted, and then giggled. And couldn’t stop. “Adam and Keith did. It was so many guys. _So many_. My ass had a, a million lil’ bruises!” 

“Why wasn’t it Keith?” 

Shiro blinked out of his staring contest with the glass and looked up at Hunk.“Why...” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Why wasn’t what Keith?”

Hunk forged on, ignoring the glares. Or perhaps he was oblivious to them. “Why didn’t you marry Keith? You guys are like, _perfect_. I mean like fairytale level perf—ow! Pidge! Why would you hit me like that?” 

“ _Hunk!_ ” Pidge hissed, as if it explained everything. 

It didn’t, and Shiro was more confused than ever. “What’re you talking about? Keith is my best man, best-best friend.” 

Lance waved his hand around. “Well yeah, but, _you know_.” 

For the second time in as many weeks Shiro was confronted with people knowing more about his own life, his relationships, than he did, apparently. His blank stare eventually prompted Lance into explaining, though not without the others trying to stop him. 

“No, no he can hear this!” Lance said, brushing them all off. “Like, you already know, though, but Keith is—was?—in _love_ with you. I mean he tore the universe apart twice for you! And Allura, she said that you were gonna die, man, like for real die this time. But he just banged on the glass and BOOM! Shiro’s awake and back to the land of the living.” Lance took a drink from his cup, draining it. The emptiness confused him for a moment but he went on. “Plus like, you guys get so soft around each other. So soft man. You do the whole ‘communicating without having to talk’ thing all the damn time. Like, like with us going to rescue Allura! You both were just in sync—you realize that don’t you? That you don’t have to _talk_ to each other anymore? You finish each other's orders. I mean, it’s no wonder Keith books it out of here when we’re all together, I don’t know how he stands being around you and you’re not married to _him._ Hey!” Lance leaned over and punched Shiro in the arm. “You and Keith can get married now!” 

“Me and…. Me and _Keith_?” Shiro frowned, recoiling at the idea immediately. “No. Keith is my friend. And he’s, he’s like a brother. He’s said he’s like a brother! I’m like a brother. Brothers. Like. In arms.” He picked up his glass to take a drink, but another thought wiggled its way out of his mouth. “Not that Keith isn’t like, pretty. I mean, he’s really fucking pretty. Have you guys seen him? He got so pretty. And his hair! His hair long and braided back is really nice. It looks really soft. I think it is. I miss him. I wish he was here with his pretty face.”

“Keith is very pretty, Shiro,” Allura said slowly. “What else do you think about Keith?” 

“He’s nice,” Shiro sighed. “I know he doesn’t act like it, but he’s really nice. And he wants to take care of people, he’s good at it too. You know,” he lifted his glass in Pidge’s direction as he said this, “I moved to Green because he was too, too _good_ at taking care of me and it just… he already did so much for me I couldn’t let him keep giving. And I was just _taking_. So I had to move, or I was going to, to do something dumb.” 

“What dumb thing were you going to do?” Hunk asked. 

“Kiss him.” He took a drink of juniberry wine, which promptly ran out. He needed more, and poured some. “Which is stupid. Because Keith said I was like his brother, and that he loved me. But kissing him would have been stupid. Never told _anyone_ that. Not even Curtis!” Shiro sighed and hunched over, remembering how very divorced he was now. “Curtis would have gotten mad. But he got mad anyway. I miss Keith. This really sucks, guys.” 

“It does, buddy,” Lance said and patted his back. “Have some more cookies.” 

Juniberry wine earned itself the top spot on his list of things he was never going to imbibe ever again. His slow descent into lactose intolerance was a distant complaint in comparison to this hangover. It was like something had died in each of his muscles, his mouth was a bacterial wasteland of awful flavors, and his eyes had forgotten how to process light. Any light. All light. 

“Fuck,” he moaned into the soft bedsheets. They felt sticky all around him for no other reason than everything felt sticky during a hangover. He wanted to shower, but he also wanted a bath so he could feasibly drown himself. The worst part was that his heart still hurt, but now it felt like it hurt more. He’d been crying by the end of the night over something that wasn’t just Curtis. 

He cracked an eye open and rolled over. Maybe Keith had snuck in and left some pain killers and water on the side of his bed.That’s what he usually did when it was just the Paladins together getting drunk. Keith’s Galra genes kept him from hangovers, no matter how much he put back. Shiro slapped his hand gingerly around the bedside table and came up empty. Maybe Keith was just as bad off as he was for once. That would be something to see. Shiro grabbed his pad to message Keith and ask, but there was already a message from him. Shiro smiled and opened it up. 

_Sorry I couldn’t come.There’s something I have to take care of here with mom. I hope you’re doing all right._

Shiro stared at the words and pieced them together one by one. There weren't any painkillers on his table because Keith wasn’t there. The others had launched into full rants the night before about _why_ weren’t Shiro and Keith together, because Keith hadn’t been there to stop them. Shiro let the pad slip out of his fingers and pushed his face into his pillow. There was a wet spot against his cheek where he’d been drooling in his sleep. 

He wondered what missing Keith more than his ex-husband saidy about the end of his marriage. He wondered when he’d started associating recovery with Keith. 

Heart heavy, he began to put it together. It started with every time Keith had been there for him on the other side of a near death experience. Keith was who he dreamed of on the edge of life, and Keith was the face hovering above his when he woke. After gut-curdling nightmares, he snuck out of his room, out of Curtis’s arms, and called Keith. Now in the first true crisis of his life in a long time, Keith wasn’t there. The message on his pad felt cold, and so did Shiro. 

When he was with it enough to stumble into the kitchen, the others were al ready there, hunched over a breakfast spread Hunk somehow managed to pull off. Shiro got a tall glass of water and sat down heavily next to Pidge. “Am I an idiot?” 

“No.” Lance shook his head sagely. 

“Yes,” Pidge said, no hesitation. “This about Keith?” 

Shiro wrapped his prosthetic hand around the water glass, the large attachment comically dwarfing it. “Yeah.” 

“Definitely an idiot then,” Pidge said. 

“Did you all really think that we were…” Shiro frowned and didn’t finish. He knew he didn’t have to. 

“I mean, yeah?” Hunk cleared his throat. “Like, you guys just revolved around each other. You uh, kinda still do.” 

“You weren’t as starstruck head-over-heels, but it didn’t look unrequited either, man.” Lance gave him a sad smile. 

Allura took a breath, hands splayed on the table. “In your early days on Castle of Lions, I had to ask Pidge why you were not staying in a room together.” 

“Together… _oh_.” Shiro felt the flush crawl up his face and tried to hide it in a long drink of water. 

“Yes.” Allura sat primly back in her chair. “I was quickly corrected on the nature of your relationship. But I will admit, it was difficult at times to parse exactly _what_ you two were to each other.” 

“It still is,” Lance snorted. 

Shiro set the glass down and stared at it, rather than the friends who apparently thought he and Keith were a longstanding match. The thought was going from bewildering to painful, souring in his chest. “Maybe we could table this discussion for sometime not right after I’ve gotten divorced? And am still putting together where I went wrong with the relationship?” He didn’t have the courage to say what he was really feeling out loud. If he said it out loud it would be real, and he would drown in it. In what Keith was to him.

“Sure, Shiro,” Pidge said. “Have some pancakes.” 

* * *

“Are you sure about this, Little Star? We can postpone it, until... you know—“

“I know, mom.” Keith trailed his fingers over the delicate red lace. He supposed he should be excited at the sight of a wedding outfit, but he wasn’t. He just felt resigned, and ready to move on with his life. “I’m sure.” 

Krolia did not look sure at all, but her mouth was pressed in that thin line that meant she was going to go along with what Keith wanted. Her displeasure would be made known during little, minuscule moments that would haunt him for weeks. 

He picked up one of the lace gloves that completed the outfit and slipped it on. The lace was soft, not itchy like he anticipated, and curved over his arm and wrist, the triangle point over the back of his hand connected at his middle finger and made his hands look long and elegant. Elegant wasn’t a word he used when thinking about himself, and he got a thrill thinking it now. 

The preliminary announcements had already gone out on Diabazaal, ahead of the public and formalization of his availability. He hadn’t anticipated any early takers among the nobility left on Daibazaal, but there was already a long list of early applicants to weed through. If anything, it made him feel vindicated—he was wanted, very much so, and it felt nicer than he imagined. 

This was the first of many different things he’d have to formally wear through this process. He’d balked at the different designs and items at first, but looking at this one now, the intricate work and the fine, lovingly crafted details, he felt ready to don it. “Can I try it on?” 

“Of course,” Krolia said softly. “You probably should, make sure it’s fitted right.” She ran a hand over the tunic, smile catching and turning tight. “I wish…”

Keith turned to her. “What is it, mom?” 

She took an unsteady breath. “I just wish that you father was here.” 

Keith peeled off the glove and pushed his head against her shoulder. “Me too, mom.” He wished for a lot of things that weren’t going to come to pass. But there was nothing to do but move on. 

* * *

A sabbatical of six months stretched before him. So, Shiro didn’t leave Altea, he unpacked into his rooms at the palace and just stayed. Pidge and Hunk had left back to their lives almost right away, but they visited and checked in more than Shiro expected. 

“We all still work pretty closely,” Allura said. “Even Keith, when he can.” She’d looked away, almost guiltily. “It was you that we were missing, Shiro.”

Keith never messaged him back. After the initial message, Shiro has responded with “let me know when you get back.” And then there hadn’t been anything, to any of them, from Keith in the month since. It wasn’t unusual for Keith, but it did nothing for the hole in Shiro’s heart, a hole that was increasingly bigger than the one Curtis left.

Lance was surprisingly helpful with that, perhaps because he’d seen a horrific loss before they recovered Allura. Wading through his emotions about Keith was a minefield on a good day. Missing Keith, felt like missing his arm. Whatever mission Keith was on was clearly important, certainly more than his friends aching heart, but the longing was hard to fight. 

“So don’t,” Lance had said, not two days ago. “I don’t know why you are. I’ve never understood that, Shiro. You and Keith have a bond beyond anything either of you have with us—“ Lance held up his hand, already knowing that Shiro was going to protest. “It isn’t a _bad_ thing, Shiro. It’s just a fact, no one resents it.” Lance cleared his throat. “Okay, I used to, sure, but that was before I realized it was because Keith was in love with you. And that you…” 

“I?” Shiro’s heart was up in his throat, thundering like a jackhammer. 

Lance leaned back and groaned. “Come on, Shiro. I’m not going to say it. Don’t make me say it. You’ve been moping since we realized he wasn’t going to come last month, or anytime soon. Hell since day _one_ and he texted that he couldn’t make it. He’s who you’ve been missing this whole month.” ‘More than your ex-husband’ went unsaid. 

Shiro groaned loudly and buried his face in his hands. “I love Keith.” He said, words muffled. 

“There you go buddy, let it out.” Lance patted his back. 

“I was falling in love with Keith, and it scared me.” 

The pats turned into affectionate rubs. “That’s it, come on.” 

Shiro sucked in a shuddering breath, the truth he’d been avoiding coiling around him like a pythons slow, gentle, squeeze of death. “I’m in love with Keith.” 

Lance threw an arm around Shiro in a fierce side hug. “I’m proud of you man, I know that was hard to do. Took you five to seven years to do.” 

Shiro looked up and squinted at Lance. “Five to seven?” 

“Time shit, man. It’s like, up to nine for Keith. Well, that’s only counting the amount of time you spent not knowing you loved him, if we talk about how long Keith’s loved you—“

Shiro pushed Lance off. “That’s enough Lance.” 

He wanted it to feel like a big revelation, something soul shattering and world altering, this huge admission to feelings he’d been harboring for longer than he really knew. But it wasn’t, and two days later he still was more baffled by the fact that he wasn’t shocked at all. It felt as normal as breathing. Shiro was a POW survivor. Shiro was a renowned and decorated pilot. Shiro was bad at cooking. Shiro was in love with Keith. 

He leaned his head back and rested it against the Black Lion’s paw. Recovering all the Lions in the processes of bringing Allura home had been bittersweet. His connection to Black was still there, but faint, like Lance’s to Blue, or Keith’s to Red. She wasn’t his anymore, but he could still feel her energy, her care. Most of his sleepless nights had led him here, to her permanent hanger next to the others. Only paladins could get into the hanger, which severely limited the amount of people who could stumble in on him. Only he and Keith could get to Black, which currently ensured complete privacy. 

“I am in love with Keith.” He said. In the back of his mind Black rumbled, pleased that he’d finally come to his senses, in her opinion. He wondered if she could tell Keith, call to him and let him know Shiro needed him, wanted him here, wanted to tell him—

No. He was busy, and Keith being busy meant something important. This could wait until he was done and they had time to talk. There was _so much_ they had to talk about.

Shiro settled back to try and meditate a little, get his head into a good place before he called it a night, when his pad went off. Lance name flashed across the screen. Shiro swiped it open. 

“What’s up?” 

Lance looked nervous, and confused. His mouth was open but it took him several seconds to make sounds come out of it. “Come… just come to the quarters. Now. You need to see something.” 

Shiro was up and heading out of the hanger at a run before Lance finished talking. “I’ll be there in five.” 

The world wasn’t ending, which was good, but it was still crashing around Shiro’s ears. 

Lance had rewound the broadcast and paused it and screamed about it until he was hoarse. Allura was on a joint call to Pidge and Hunk, while Coran tried to get a hold of Kolivan, Krolia, hell, even Romelle. Someone to explain what the hell they were seeing on the screen. 

Lance rewound it again and Shiro was forced to watch it fresh, the whole, awful thing. It wasn’t that he couldn’t look away, but his body wasn’t responding at all, his brain filled with confused static. 

_“Now, coming down the steps of the Kral Xion, the Great Hall, the Black Paladin and Blade Commander Keith Kogane will finally make the formal announcement.”_

_“Daibazaal has been buzzing with the news of the Commander’s eligibility, with Galra from the remaining Noble Houses able to petition for the last few movements, but the formal announcement will open the pool up to other worthy hopefuls.”_

_“That’s right Y’tza. It’s refreshing too, seeing the old traditions of a better time for Daibazaal continued on by the Black Paladin.”_

_“And I don’t think anyone is complaining about his choice to wear the traditional bridegroom attire.”_

_“That we are not! Here he is—let’s tune in to the formal announcement.”_

Keith was in a high collared gown, a split down the middle at his waist revealing tight black leggings underneath that peeked through and flashed as he gracefully moved in front of a glass podium. The gown was a deep, crimson red, high collared and long sleeved, most of his shoulders and arms and cutouts on his sides semi-exposed through sheer, intricate lace. His hair was fashion into a high braid, almost like a mohawk, with small braids hanging by his face in loops before being woven into the larger one. There were small jewels tucked into the braids, and golden piercings—new, all of them new—lined his ears in delicate chains and hoops. His twin luxite blades were still strapped to his back. 

He looked stunning, and deadly. It was devastating.

_“Greetings, to all those who have supported myself, the Coalition, and the Blades’ work. And to the Universe at large. I appreciate you taking the time to come and listen to what I have to say here today._

_“As I have spent time here on New Daibazaal, and in the Universe, working toward the greater peace that Voltron worked hard to start, I find myself in need of a partner. Made recently aware of Galran traditions, and my own desire to find someone suited to my life, my needs, and the needs of the people I serve, I, Keith Kogane, Blade of Marmora Commander, and Black Paladin, submit myself as a bridegroom for the Tal’Xion. I look forward to petitions, and meeting those who are chosen to participate in the Feats. I vow to uphold the tenets of the tradition of Tal’Xion, and commit myself to choosing a suitable mate from those who petition for my hand._

_“Thank you again for your time and support.”_

The reporters began talking again in the rush of noise that surrounded Keith. In the room Allura was shouting something at Coran, who seemed to have made contact with Romelle. 

Shiro just stared, even after Lance paused the feed again he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Keith. His brain was slowly, glacially, putting together all the words Keith said and what they meant. The great, grand implication of this entire announcement. _Why_ Keith hadn’t come when Shiro had called, when he needed him. When, again, he’d selfishly wanted Keith to swoop in and glue him back together from the ruin of his life. 

Keith was going to get married, and he’d just asked the entire universe to come and complete for his hand. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daibazaal loomed in the viewport, jewel tones bright and alive before the small spacecraft. Shiro’s stomach clenched on reflex, never quite over his introduction to the planet, a broken beacon of pain and war. Now her cities glittered on the surface, and her atmosphere was littered with ships and defense tech like Altea. 
> 
> Matt leaned forward and punched in the landing access codes, the deep frown he’d been sporting since Altea still solidly in place. “I just don’t get why you didn’t go with everyone else, Shiro. Were you that scared to come out that you had to last minute hail me to bring you here?” 
> 
> Shiro fidgeted in his seat. “Yeah… something like that. I’ll be right back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks again to Colie for betaing for me <3

The entire universe was not, in fact, invited to try and marry Keith. 

Shiro was grateful for that, at the very least, but the rest of the news still felt like lead in his heart. He supposed it was a good enough excuse for sitting just outside of the room where the others were taking a call. With Keith. 

Lance had been operating at the highest decibel he could hit for the entire conversation. “I _still_ cannot believe you didn’t think to say a damn thing to us!” 

“Because I knew you’d react like this.” Keith sounded tired, resigned. The entire conversation thus far had been Keith explaining the whole thing in clipped responses and feeble apologies for springing it on everyone. “You all know how it’s been for me.” His voice dropped, and Shiro hadn’t heard him sound so… sad, in a very long time. “I’m tired of this… hole, in my life. Mom was talking about old Galra traditions and this, the Tal’Xion Feats, came up. Even if this isn’t for love, I’ll have someone I trust by my side. Someone who is there for me, who _chose_ me.” He choked on the word ‘chose’, and Shiro’s heart broke. “Let me have this.” 

“Keith, Shiro—“

Keith scoffed. “He made his choice, Lance.” 

“But now he’s—“

“And it was Curtis who did it!” It was the first time Keith had gotten loud. Shiro didn’t have to see into the room to know everyone was wincing like he was. “I’m not a backup, or a last second realization. I’m not going to be who he crawls to, I can’t do it anymore.” Static rustling from the speakers made it sound like Keith was shifting around, and his voice had returned to it’s quiet resolve when he finally spoke. “I’ll be sending out invitations soon. The whole thing lasts about a pheob, sometimes a little longer. I’d be grateful if you guys could make it out for some of it. I’ll.. I’ll try to keep you better posted from here on out.” 

Shiro heard the feed cut, and the deep silence of the room oozed out into the hallway. The air was oppressive, like reaching a distress signal too late. It’d been so long since Shiro had heard Keith sound like that, but the other Paladins hadn’t reacted that way, as if it was how he always sounded. 

Shiro rested his head on his arms, breathing between his knees, hoping the rhythm of it would bring back his bearings. 

“Shiro?” Allura had come out, and put a hand on his shoulder. “You can come in, if you want. We know you were listening.” 

Shiro kept breathing, focusing on just that and not his life spinning further out of control. Four counts in, eight counts out, Keith was getting _married_ — 

“Shiro.” 

Allura gently lifted his face from his arms and wiped at the tears streaming down his face. “Come, come be with us now. We can figure this out.” 

“Can we?” He sniffled. “You heard him Allura. I… I lost him. I _left_ him, there’s no coming back from it.” 

Sure as the tides, Allura stood, face serene, pulling Shiro up with her and pushing him into the room with the others. “We have faced _much_ worse things than Keith announcing he’d like suitors to compete for his hand.” 

Shiro sniffled again. “Are you sure?” He was whacked lightly on the back. 

“So do you know about this… Talshiria or whatever it is he’s doing, Allura?” Hunk asked. Behind the couch he was seated at, Lance was pacing furiously, cussing under his breath in Spanish, English, and Altean. For once Shiro wanted to join in Lance’s dramatics. 

“Tal’Xion,” Allura corrected. “And I was actually witness to the final feat of one when I was younger. It was once a way to secure alliances or ensure the strength of a clan. The modern version is how Galran nobility would typically choose mates if they were of age and had not found one via a traditional romance. By law Zarkon would have had to do so, had he not met Honvera, to secure heirs.” 

“But what if he chose someone who couldn’t bear children?” Pidge asked from Hunk’s side. 

Allura flushed and cleared her throat. “Like Alteans, and most species in this system, Galra can have… _flexible_ biology.” 

Lance tripped and fell on his face behind the couch, sputtering. Pidge leaned over and leered at him. “You know all about that, huh buddy?” 

“Shut up Pidge!” 

Allura was several shades of red, but forged on despite the airing of bedroom details. “In any event, it is clear that Keith is ready for a permanent kind of companionship in his life, and we have to decide how best to support him.” 

Lance popped back up over the couch. “Support him? Allura!” He gestured violently at Shiro. “Come on! We obviously pack up, fly ourselves over there, and beat some sense into Keith. This is stupid, they’re both single, and in love and lonely and we just gotta _go there_.” 

“No.” 

Four pairs of eyes swiveled to Shiro, all faces in a state of confusion, even Allura’s. Inside his chest was this yawning, awful guilt, resignation beating at its core and tearing Shiro down from the inside out. There wasn’t any other way to come at this. 

“Keith was right. I made my choices, I have to let him make this one.” He looked up at his friends, tears still flooding his eyes but they weren’t falling. He wasn’t sure he deserved to cry over this any more. “We’ll support Keith, no matter how this turns out, and be there for him. I can’t imagine how vulnerable he must feel having…” Shiro had to swallow around the words. “Having his love life on display like this. It’s brave, and admirable that he’s taking this step.” 

He didn’t wait for the outburst that would likely follow his little speech. He wanted to curl up in bed, maybe do so with a bottle of juniberry wine. What did he have to lose? 

The wine did not make it into bed with him, but his pad did, and Shiro couldn’t help but scroll through article after article about the Tal’Xion. Now that the whole universe was watching, the undertaking was being researched by every being who had ever seen Keith. Social media feeds were crawling with people who wanted to petition, and Shiro had to leave those comments behind quickly or he was going to explode. Instead he followed links to what each of the designated Feats were, how a bride or bridegroom could dismiss suitors, what kind of leeway they had in decisions. Shiro was pleased to discover that there was no combat between suitors any longer, replaced by the five Feats that were judged by the bridegroom and their family or elders respectively. He was relieved Keith would have some say in who ended up by his side. 

There were still a million questions running through his head when, out of nowhere, his own name was among the paragraphs of speculation in an article. 

“… _there is also chatter of whether or not the former Black Paladin and recently divorced ATLAS Admiral, Takashi Shirogane, will be a face among the suitors. Those close to the Voltron Paladins often expressed the closeness of the Admiral and Commander Kogane, and they now wonder if that same connection they witnessed in the war will again come forth.._ ” 

Shiro reread the passage several times, waiting for some other tidbit to come forth, some explanation of just who was saying things like this. He mentally flicked through names and faces until he realized that, much like the paladins themselves, those who had seen he and Keith together saw two people with and undeniable pull toward one another. 

Shiro sat up in bed and rubbed his face. 

A declaration. An offering. A moment. A touch. An act of devotion.

He pulled open the contacts on his pad and called. 

* * *

-Earth, five years ago- 

_He woke up violently, arm flying out in defense before his senses were caught up with him._

_There was a shout to his left and he rolled, falling onto the floor and braced himself there, coiled tight against whatever threat had gotten into his cell._

_“…Shiro?”_

_He blinked. It wasn’t violet light and long, gray shadows surrounding him, but warm lamplight casting shadows over a small room with wood floors and a man standing in front of him. A man who…_

_“Keith?” The name that fell out of his lips didn’t feel real. None of this felt real, but he knew what these dreams were like—they were warm, bright with hope, soft around the edges._

_There were no soft edges now, just his eyes trying to focus on the sharp details. Like Keith’s deep frown._

_Keith._

_The crash to earth and being hauled out by grunts in hazmat suits came back to him. Last thing he remembered at all was another needle getting jammed into his skin and his vision going black. But Keith…_

_“Did you break me out?”_

_Keith lowered himself slowly to crouch in front of Shiro. He’d grown. Shiro still didn’t know how long he’d been captured, but it was long enough for Keith to fill out, a little rougher around the edges. It suited him._

_“Yeah,” Keith said. “I watched them pull you out of the… pull you out and I didn’t know for sure it was you, but if it was I couldn’t leave you in there. Shiro they lied so much about what happened and I…” Keith shuddered, eyes squeezing closed. “They said you were dead.”_

_“Keith.” Shiro reached out, his hands clumsy with whatever drug was still in his veins, but they found Keith’s arm and pulled. Keith went, body lurching forward into Shiro’s. He buried his face in Shiro’s neck and stayed there, shuddering like he was sobbing but there was no noise to go with it._

_Shiro held on just as tightly, relishing the feeling of familiar arms, of feeling almost safe for longer than he could remember. Keith was here, Keith was in his arms, on Earth—home._

_The danger and urgency was still pumping through his veins, needed to warn the planet was blaring in his head like a siren but he couldn’t make himself move from this moment, from Keith._

_Shiro didn’t break their embrace, Keith did, pushing back with a wet cough. “There’s a shower, water doesn’t get too hot though. And I’ve got some spare clothes if you want to change.”_

_Shiro gulped and looked down at the prisoner rags he was still in. A shower sounded good, so did new clothes. “Where are we?”_

_Keith shrugged. “Old cabin my pops had. We’re pretty far out in the desert.”_

_“Won’t they be looking for you too?” Shiro asked. He realized Keith was out of uniform._

_Keith shook his head and looked away. “I… I got kicked out.” He licked his lips, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. “I know you thought I could make it there, but when they said you were dead, that it was_ pilot error _, Shiro couldn’t. I couldn’t let them keep saying that and I got mad and…. and I’m sorry.”_

_Even with the headache pulsing behind his eyes, Shiro didn’t need Keith to fill in those blanks. He put a hand on Keith’s shoulder and squeezed. The metal hand, but Keith didn’t even flinch. “I’m sorry, Keith. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”_

_“I missed you so much.” Keith’s voice was broken and Shiro had to pull him in again, just hold him._

_“I missed you, too.” Shiro said into his hair. “But you found me, Keith. You found me.”_

* * *

Daibazaal loomed in the viewport, jewel tones bright and alive before the small spacecraft. Shiro’s stomach clenched on reflex, never quite over his introduction to the planet, a broken beacon of pain and war. Now her cities glittered on the surface, and her atmosphere was littered with ships and defense tech like Altea. 

Matt leaned forward and punched in the landing access codes, the deep frown he’d been sporting since Altea still solidly in place. “I just don’t get why you didn’t go with everyone else, Shiro. Were you that scared to come out that you had to last minute hail me to bring you here?” 

Shiro fidgeted in his seat. “Yeah… something like that. I’ll be right back.” He slipped out of the copilot’s chair and scurried to the back of the craft before Matt could protest. 

His bags were still piled on the single bed where he’d thrown them hours ago. The garment bag was the only thing carefully hung from a hook in the wall. Shiro swallowed down his nerves and unzipped it, revealing the custom work inside. He trailed his fingers over the silk and silver thread. His new arm, sleek, Altean, and predominately white, had much better touch sensation than either of the other ones, the matte black fingers picking up the smooth fine fibers as well as his flesh hand. He removed each piece gently, careful with the fabric as he wrapped it around himself in a parody of ritual. If he went slow enough maybe his hands wouldn’t shake so much. 

It had been a long, long time since he’d put on a kimono, longer still since wearing one so formal. The summer yukata he’d worn to festivals with his grandparents had nothing on the layers he was tugging into place. He was stiff, straight backed from the obi, by the time he was fastening the haori-himo in place, the simple band of braided cord clipping the sides of his haori together. It was the only part of the ensemble that wasn’t new. He pressed his fingers to the stiff braid, still pristine despite being passed down for generations. He thought of his grandfather, and father, and asked for strength. 

He looked over his lines one last time, making sure each one was crisp and straight, before walking back out to the cockpit. 

“There you are I thought you got los— _holy shit_.” 

Shiro laughed and looked down over himself. “Too much?” 

“No you look… damn Shiro, if I wasn’t already committed to N-7 I’d be barking up that tree. Keith is gonna lose it, you know that right? There are suitors lining up by the dozens and you’re going to just walk in there and steal all… his… attention…” Matt’s jaw slowly dropped, eyes narrowing dangerously. “Shiro. You’re not.” 

Shiro cleared his throat and sat primly back down, conscious of any movement that might wrinkle the silk. 

Matt leaned over him, hands braced on either side of Shiro’s chair. “Shiro. I need you to tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.” 

Shiro tugged at the haori’s sleeves. 

“This is why you wanted to come separately.” Matt plopped back down into his chair, face blank in shock. “Keith is going to kill you, you know that right?” 

Shiro looked back up at the viewport, eyes trained on Daibazaal. 

* * *

The Kral Xion was a massive building, long and low, with wicked spires lining it the way down, making it look like a snake preparing to take flight. According to record, the Imperial had been a smaller version of the great hall, not that it had been rebuilt here on New Daibzaal. 

The vaulted ceiling and carvings of War Gods had Shiro shivering while he waited. Beyond the entrance hall, he could hear the crowd murmuring in wait and he resisted the urge to wring his hands. The haori was heavy on his shoulders, the silver threaded through it making it feel almost like armor. He rolled them, the thread glinting in the low light, appreciated the simple fact that he could roll both shoulders again thanks to the new arm. 

Drums struck up, their beat pounding into Shiro to his bones. He turned to the double doors with the crowd beyond and steeled himself, watching with an impassive mask as they opened. He couldn’t let any of the emotions careening around inside out to the surface. 

The hall itself was huge, packed with spectators from Diabazaal and beyond. Lined up along the path to the dais stood those who had come before him, and he should look at them, see the twenty-nine faces that had already made their bid. He didn’t. There was a muffled shout to his left that sounded like Lance, but he didn’t look to confirm. He didn’t spare a glance to Krolia or Kolivan, standing proud to either side of his target. Shiro’s entire focus was captured by the man waiting on the throne. 

It _was_ a throne, and Keith filled with ease and grace, a natural place for him to be. He was again in clothes that covered him to the neck, black fabric encasing his lithe form save his arms and over his chest, where the overlaid red lace let pale skin peek through. His braid hung down over a shoulder this time, and the delicate chain and hoops in his hair and ears were silver. He was beautiful. 

And furious. 

Shiro prepared himself for the possibility that Keith would attack him before Shiro could say his piece. He didn’t, just sat there glaring at Shiro so fiercely, he nearly turned around and left. 

The disembodied announcer called out over the hall. “Admiral Takashi Shirogane of Earth, Former Black Paladin, and Champion of the Imperial Pits, come and declare your intent.” 

He could have done without that last title, it was stirring up things in his gut he’d rather left dead. The only consolation was that it had made Keith jump too. 

The drumbeat slowed to a stop, and the wild chatter that had followed him in his walk to the throne died. Keith’s expression was completely shuttered now, blank and cold. 

“I am Takashi Shirogane of Earth, and today that is all I am.” He bowed, low and deep, letting his body sink into the movement and stay there for several seconds. When he rose, back ramrod straight, he felt a shift in the air. “My titles, my accomplishments, are worthless in the face of the challenge before me. How could they mean anything to he who helped me earn those titles in the first place?”

Keith blinked once, no trace of emotion on his face. Shiro could see now that his eyes were softly lined in red, and that his lower lip had been similarly dusted with rouge. The sight nearly made Shiro forget the words he’d been agonizing over for weeks. 

“I am a foolish man, with little to give beyond his foolish heart. I have heard the poetry of those who stood here before me, and it was better than the simple truth I bear. I have heard the accolades of the man who sits before me, and he is better than I could ever hope to be. 

“I will not bore you with lies about how I am worthy to be here. I am here to submit myself in the vain hope that it is not too late to give what is owed—my life to the Black Paladin. It is his, and rightfully has been since he brought me back from the dead.” 

Shiro lowered his eyes and sank to a knee, head bowed as was custom for the suitors until they were dismissed to wait on the bridegroom’s decision. Keith would say ‘your petition has been heard’, and Shiro would rise to stand at the end of the hall with the others. 

Silence stretched around him, thick and tense. It wrapped up around his throat and choked him. He heard movement ahead, a faint rustled of clothing to the left. Krolia must be leaning to speak to Keith, prompt him into motion. 

The wait was excruciating, and when Keith did speak his voice was low and angry. “You have been heard.” 

It wasn’t the right words, but they weren’t wrong, or an outright rejection. Shiro stood on shaking legs and didn’t dare look at Keith’s face before he turned to take his spot at the end of the row. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You really think this is a good idea?” Pidge asked. 
> 
> Shiro swallowed, at once grateful they all stormed down the seats to him, and half wishing he’d been left alone here so he could zone out, not have to discuss what he was doing. 
> 
> “No,” he said to Pidge. “It’s a terrible idea, but it’d be worse to not try.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof this one was a labor of love. HUGE thanks to Colie for fighting through this chapter with me <3

Keith tore himself from the hall the moment the announcer finished, fleeing into the chamber behind it. His heart was trying to claw its way out of his chest, setting itself on fire as it went. Shiro had _no right_. 

His mother and Kolivan entered, the door clicking quietly shut behind them. Keith wanted to slam it again. He was desperate for his rage to have noise, to be loud when he’d had to remain silent in the hall. 

“Keith, I know that must have been a shock, but—“ 

There. A target. He rounded on Krolia and snarled. “What the fuck is he doing here!” Logically, he knew. He didn’t approve Shiro’s application, that naturally meant one of his appointed guardians had. Kolivan wouldn’t have done something like this, not without consulting Keith. His mother, on the other hand, would have no such qualms. 

“He’s petitioning for your hand,” Krolia said evenly. “Don’t act like you didn’t want him here in some way, to see you up there and regret.” She remained tall and calm in the face of her son’s fury. “Well, you missed that part, since apparently he fell to pieces on Altea when your announcement went out. This is the response he has come with.” 

“How could you approve him?” Keith cried. “After everything you’ve watched me go through—“

“We’ve been over this, kit.”

The prick of fangs against his lower lip made him growl, his emotions getting the better of him. “This is _not_ on me.” 

“No, it isn’t. But it isn’t entirely on Shiro, either.” She curled a hand over Keith’s shoulder, the sensation muted by thick lace. “Let’s discuss the suitors.” 

* * *

The hall was loud with conversation, speculation buzzing. Shiro watched as the other suitor’s kin surrounded them, offering support and congratulations. He wasn’t expecting a hard slap on his back, but he wasn’t surprised by it either. 

“Shiro! I can’t believe you did this without telling us!” 

Lance was bright with excitement, face oscillating from joy to betrayal in quick succession. Allura said nothing, but kissed his cheek with a knowing smile. 

“You really think this is a good idea?” Pidge asked. 

Shiro swallowed, at once grateful they all stormed down the seats to him, and half wishing he’d been left alone here so he could zone out, not have to discuss what he was doing. 

“No,” he said to Pidge. “It’s a terrible idea, but it’d be worse to not try.” 

“I can’t believe Keith approved,” Hunk said, shaking his head. 

Shiro looked down. His tabi and geta seemed so… homely compared to the grand armor the others were in. “He didn’t. Krolia did. I called her the night of the announcement. She… she helped me with what to do.” 

Lance sighed. “Well that explains why Keith went all ice queen up there. I’ve never seen him like that before.” 

Shiro didn’t say out loud that he hadn’t either, if he did someone might hear how much it scared him. 

“The Bridegroom returns!” The announcer bellowed, sending everyone back to their seats. Shiro lined back up, back straight and face neutral as he could make it. Across the aisle was a large, older Galra in Blades uniform. He gave Shiro a slight nod that Shiro returned just before Keith was announced. All of the suitors made a half turn to face Keith. Some sank to a knee, others remained tall. Shiro stayed standing despite his urge to sink into seiza. 

Keith was still stunning in the form fitting outfit, the skin peeking through almost seductively. The lace at his throat came to a subtle v, making it look even longer, more graceful. Shiro’s eyes stayed on the sliver of skin exposed above the lace as Keith spoke. 

“Iysut of Favara.” 

A Galra on the opposite side and a halfway up the aisle stepped out and bowed, facing Keith in the middle of the aisle. 

It went on like that—Dj’ik of the Venax Clan, Kepva of Altea, Sudjar of Halfar, Zik’hok, Ik’pum, Eigbar—names of men who Keith has decided are worthy, are good, and good enough to marry. 

“Renvar of Galnax.” 

A huge Galra walked to the center and bowed low, his wide ears twitched forward toward Keith’s voice. A uniform Shiro had never seen before graced his figure, and he wore it _well_. Keith’s gaze lingered on Renvar for a long moment and then he stepped back, clearly finished with his choices in suitors. 

Eight. Only eight had been called. Shiro pulled a deep breath in through his nose, trying to stem the tears pricking at the edge of his vision. 

“Xegothra of Ylna.” 

Kolivan’s voice rang out over the hall, and the Blades member across from Shiro walked forward to the center aisle.

That’s right. The guardians were allowed to choose a suitor each, which mean Krolia still—

“Takashi Shirogane, of Earth.” 

He had to close his eyes tight for half a second before walking forward. Krolia was staring at him hard, the words from their last conversation rang in his mind and down to his bones. Keith was resolutely looking forward at the nine suitors lined up in front of Shiro. It didn’t matter, Shiro took his place behind Xegothra and bowed as the others did. 

“The Suitors have been chosen!” The announcer, a Galran Priest, banged his staff against the stone floor. 

The hall erupted in chatter, families rushing down to congratulate the suitors. Shiro kept his eyes on the dais, but Keith and hiskin had slipped behind the door again, out of sight. The other Paladins crowded around him, all expressing relief that Shiro himself was feeling at being chosen, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from where he knew Keith was. 

_Krolia_ had given him this chance. Not Keith. 

“Shiro.” 

He turned slowly to Allura, reluctant, in case he was able to catch sight of Keith again. 

Her smile was tight. “Will you need our support in this?” 

Shiro knew what she was asking. The suitor’s families could stay with them and help them through the trials in a multitude of ways. He’d already declared their rag-tag family his kin, in case of an emergency. 

Having their help would be wonderful, but he couldn’t. “No,” he said. “I have to do this on my own, I think. I meant every word I said. I have to be here as just Takashi Shirogane, prove that I’m enough, on my own, for Keith.” 

“We’ll be here,” she said quietly. “If you change your mind.”

“You plan on staying for the whole thing?” He’d expected them to come in for the trials, but not stay for the downtime between them. 

“Of course we are!” Lance elbowed him in the side. “Like we’d miss any of this pseudo-Galra-Bachelor show!”

“This is only part of the Tal’Xion that’s broadcast, Lance, and when decisions are made after the trials,” Shiro said, and wasn’t that a blessing. If the whole ordeal was filmed reality show style he may have gone the kidnapping route instead. 

Lance shook his head. “Yeah, but we get to see more of it, don’t we?” 

“As kin, yes,” Allura answered for him. “The presentation of gifts for the second trial, for example. Other trials will be spent with just them together.” 

“Can we go see Keith?” Hunk bounced from foot to foot. “I know we’re here for Shiro, but Keith is our family too, right? I mean we’re technically here on his invitation.” 

Shiro jerked. “I did… put you all down as my kin, on the forms. I’m sorry I didn’t ask.” 

Allura put a hand on his arm. “We _are_ your kin, Shiro. I expected that you had.” She squeezed once and let go. “Hunk, I’m sure an exception of sorts can be made, though we may have to see him with supervision now, so we aren’t seen as trying to gain favor for Shiro.” 

“That sucks,” Pidge said. “You could’ve warned us, you know?” 

Shiro rubbed the back of his neck. “I wanted to be sure that I’d go through with it myself, on my own. It’s important to me that Keith knows I chose this, just me.”

“You don’t want him to think any of us talked you into this,” Pidge said slowly. 

“I can’t risk this, Pidge. It’s the closest to a second chance I’ll ever get.” 

* * *

The building they were all staying in was a traditional Galran housing unit, composed of several condo-like living spaces clustered together and some communal rooms. 

It was a new building, ready for permanent tenants once it served its purpose for the Tal’Xion suitors. The quarters they led Shiro to were nice, more spacious than his officer’s quarters had been. They put him in one of the smaller units, saving the bigger ones for those who did bring family to stay with them. 

The Paladins, after much deliberation and a million regulation checks, decided to stay with Keith in Krolia’s home. There had been murmurings from the other suitors about this, but it was clear Shiro was still there through Krolia’s pity alone. 

He wasn’t actual competition yet. 

In two days Shiro would present Keith with his chosen gift, and from there it would be Keith, and only Keith, who could keep him around. 

He hadn’t unpacked. There wasn’t any reason to until he passed the second trial, so toiletries and a few clothes made it out of his suitcase. His kimono was folded neatly alongside the others he’d gotten, nice ones from the shop that had done his custom one. His Admiral’s salary was getting used like Lance teased him about for once. 

Right now he was in threadbare sweats with a heavy scrapbook in his hands. He was tempted to open it and go through the pages again, make sure everything was in order, but he’d make himself crazy doing that. He gingerly put the book down on top of his suitcase and stood, stretching. 

There was a training room, might as well use it. 

It wasn’t really a surprise that others had sought the training area, but it was something to see several suitors sparring already. A blade flashed and he realized all three were Marmora. 

One was the huge Galra who stood across from Shiro at the ceremony, the one Kolivan had called and clearly the oldest suitor. 

“You’re dropping your shoulder still, Zik’hok. Sudjar, if you keep moving like a flashing tarrunfish I’m going to gut you like one.” 

The two immediately shifted their stances, taking direction and moving as the elder Blade instructed. Shiro lazily stretched while he watched, always ready to learn new tricks. 

The older Blade turned a keen eye to Shiro. “You could join us, Admiral, take one of these kits off my hands.”

“I’m afraid I’m a little out of practice,” Shiro said. It was true enough, his position didn’t require hand-to-hand like he’d needed as a paladin. If Shiro asked Curtis used to train with him sometimes, but it had been ages since he properly went up against someone. 

“Even more reason.” The Galra motioned Shiro toward them on the mat. The other two looked Shiro up and down with keen eyes.

This would, if nothing, effectively take his mind off the gift sitting in his room, awaiting judgment. “All right.” 

Zik’hok came at him first, tail lashing behind him. Shiro barely had time to drop into a defensive stance before the Blade was on him. The older Galra was right, the man dropped his shoulder at odd times, and Shiro recognized it for what it was. 

He let Zik’hok put him into a loose hold, taking the opportunity to speak. “You have to push through the injury,” Shiro said, panting. 

Zik’hok hissed. “I have no injury.” 

“But you did, and your muscles remember that.” Shiro took advantage of the weakness and broke the hold, throwing the Blade to the floor. 

On the other side of the mat Sudjar was similarly pinned. The elder pulled back and helped him up, eyes seeking Shiro immediately. “Not as out of practice as you claim.” 

Zik’hok was already up and rolling his shoulder, annoyed at his defeat. Shiro shrugged and gave him a lopsided smile. “It was easy to take advantage of a bad habit I once had myself.” 

The older Galra strode up to Shiroand held out his arm in greeting. “Xegothra, Blade Commander, I’m pleased to meet you, Admiral Shirogane. Blades who fought by your side have always spoken highly of you.” 

Shiro grasped his arm firmly back in greeting. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Commander, though I think perhaps under other circumstances.” The other Blades had already backed away, wary and guarded against the competition. 

“Bickering between suitors is pointless,” Xegothra sighed. “Keith, and Keith alone, will decide who has the right to be by his side. Tensions between us would only make him angry.” 

Shiro frowned. “You know him well?”

Xegothra let go of Shiro’s arm and leaned back. “We’re both commanders, we work very closely.” He paused, considering something. “I am surprised to see you here, Admiral.” 

Shiro snorted. “You may be one of the few. Apparently this was a foregone conclusion no one told me about.” 

“That is what I mean.” Xegothra’s eyes widened, like he hadn’t meant to say that. He cleared his throat and looked just past Shiro, not making eye contact. “I was under the impression you were not interested as Keith was.” 

“I’ve been informed that I’m almost fatally obtuse when it comes to this, not least of which by my ex. Loudly. For several days while we finalized our divorce.” Shiro wiped the sweat off his face with his shirt. “This is selfish of me.” 

Xegothra was regarding him fully again, face pensive. “Love often is, Admiral.” He shifted, his stare hard and unreadable. “Keith is dear to us in the Blades, Admiral. We all care deeply for him. He deserves to be cared for. I respect him greatly, and I do not want to see him fall into a bond that does not match his worth. That is why I am here.” 

Shiro watched Xegothra go, the weight of his many judges heavy on his shoulders. 

* * *

The first night in a new place always gave him nightmares, but on very rare nights his dreams gave him something both worse and better. 

Kuron—as Shiro had taken to calling him—didn’t leave memories so much as impressions of events. Shiro knew what happened to him in a vague, instinctual sense. But some nights, full, explicit details emerged. 

A second escape. Nearly dying on an icy planet. Getting off in a bum ship just to lose oxygen and die lost in space. It wasn’t his life that flashed, but the faces of the people he’d let down. Keith was there hovering in front of his eyes in most of those final moments. He drifted away to those visions. Bright, fiery Keith, piloting Black, fierce in his resolve to protect and save...

He’d woken up disoriented with hazy memories of a rescue, too long hair tangled around him, and every limb still aching even after Keith had shoved him into a pod. 

Keith was there still, mop of black hair just visible over the side of the bed where he was sitting guard. His head kept bobbing, like he was trying to fight sleep. 

Shiro— _Kuron_ —had reached a shaky hand out to stroke Keith’s hair, make sure it wasn’t a dream. Keith jerked, spinning up and on his feet in seconds, eyes wide. 

“Hey,” he rasped, voice still dry from dehydration. 

Keith’s eyes brimmed with tears and he dove to the bed, grabbing Shiro in a fierce hug. It felt good, better than any hug, like all the others had been a memory, but this one was real. 

In hindsight, it was that body’s first hug. 

Keith stayed that night, curled into Shiro. They woke in a tangled mess, stiff from clinging so tight. 

“Hey,” Keith said, licking his lips. “I have something for you.” 

Shiro-- _Kuron--_ tilted his head, long strands of hair falling forward with the motion. Keith dug around in his creased pants before producing a small, triangular device. 

He took it from Keith’s hand carefully, inspecting the Galran looking runes carved over the smooth surface. 

“It’s a Galran compass,” Keith said hesitantly. “I know it’s not… it might not be the right thing, but they don’t really use them anymore. Kolivan had it and I thought it was cool, so he gave it to me. And I thought that if— _when_ —you came back, I wanted to give it to you. Remind you that I’ll always find you.” Keith looked down and tugged on his hair. “It’s stupid.” 

“No, Keith.” He reached out and put a hand on Keith’s shoulder, the familiar touch deeply grounding, like it was meant to be there. “Thank you.” 

Morning light on Daibazaal was a strange, muted orange that Shiro sat up slowly in. His head felt heavy, like it always did after memories resurfaced like that in his dreams. He’d known the compass was from Keith. It had stayed on his bedside table since he’d gotten it. Right now it was in his suitcase, a momento he’d always traveled with unconsciously. 

_I’ll always find you_. 

* * *

This time they were taken to the seat of Krolia’s house, a compound a half hour ride from The Capitol and nestled at the edge of the Daibazaal wilds. Tall trees climbed around them into the sky, sparse foliage a deep magenta color that reminded Shiro of crimson maples. The compound was like all Galran homes, round and high-walled, smaller than the city compounds. Before the destruction of Daibazaal and the start of the Empire, Krolia’s family had been high ranking nobles, loudly dissenting against Zarkon’s actions until they were hunted down and their remaining ranks took up working with the Blades. 

Krolia, with Kolivan’s help, had rebuilt her ancestral home. Shiro could see the slight differences as they drew near, the artisanal touches on the walls, ancient runes and motifs of flora and fauna running along it, decorating the roofing and structural seams. 

He smoothed his hands for the millionth time over his navy haori. He liked this set, with the pinstripe navy and white kimono and geometric patterned obi. It reminded him of his grandfather’s favored set. The other suitors seemed to be confused by his geta and tabi, and Shiro wondered if leaving one’s feet unprotected was a cultural taboo for some. 

Their transport pulled up to the gate where Krolia and Kolivan were waiting in full Blade uniform. The three Blades with Shiro were also in their full suits, masks down,and other suitors were in their own traditional, formal attire. Under any other circumstance Shiro would be eagerly noting the differences in clothing styles, expanding his knowledge of other cultures, but the gift in his hand weighed heavier than his curiosity. 

They exited in the order called by Keith, leaving Shiro at the back. When he passed through the gates he swore he saw Krolia nod at him, but it was so slight he didn’t want to risk mistaking it. 

The inner receiving courtyard was a well maintained garden, bright, slightly sinister-looking native plants neatly arranged aroudn them. . Kolivan directed them to wait here while he announced their arrival to Keith. Krolia stayed behind, watching them all with a keen eye. 

Some fidgeted, their large gifts heavy in their hands. Shiro noted on the transport that, given size and shape, at least half of the suitors brought weapons. Xegothra’s parcel was small, wrapped carefully in a silver cloth, while Sudjar held a thin box in both hands. 

Kolivan returned, whispering something to Krolia, and moved to guard the doors. 

“Suitors,” Krolia said calmly. “You were directed to come bearing a gift you thought worthy of my son. As you have passed the first trial, you may now present your offerings. Only the bridegroom himself may judge the worth and care you have put into your offering. 

“You will all follow me into the courtyard and wait there as directed, until your time to present arrives. The decision will be announced tonight in a private ceremony that will be broadcast tomorrow.” She looked at each of them in turn, as if daring them to ask any questions. 

When none came forward, she took them inside, briskly walking through the halls until they were in the inner courtyard. The gardens here reflected the ones before, but large pathways cut through the wide area. In the center, a gazebo-like tent had been erected, covered in sheer cloth. The silhouette of Keith seated in the center made his heart kick up. 

The roof extended out over a walkway surrounding the courtyard, seats lining the entire way. At the far end of the courtyard Shiro could see the Paladins. Lance moved to wave when he spotted Shiro, but Allura quickly pulled him back down, no doubt scolding him. Lance rolled his eyes and threw Shiro a wink instead. 

Silently, Krolia pointed to where they would sit and wait, one by one. Again Shiro was placed at the end on the left side of the courtyard, Xegothra next to him. 

The process was long and excruciating. Each suitor was called up by Kolivan and sent in to Keith, to present their gift. Many of them talked at length with Keith, their voices hushed whispers that fell across the courtyard. The gift in his lap wasn’t a simple token. It wasn’t a thoughtful item or hand crafted weapon. The gift was heavy in his hands. It had the potential to cross a million lines he’d never be able to come back from. Shiro was beyond grateful it would be presented in private. 

Several of the gifts prompted Keith to react loudly enough that the courtyard could hear. A hushed gasp when he opened Renvar’s gift. He’d sounded impressed with whatever DJ’ik brought, and laughed quietly with Kepva. Even if Keith liked his gift, Shiro wouldn’t hear laughter like that. 

Xegothra was called and Shiro couldn’t tear his eyes away from the exchange. Xegothra’s shadow hulked in the small space, dwarfing Keith’s. He could feel the gentle, pleased laugh that spilled out of Keith and across the courtyard when he received the gift. They spoke for a long time, Xegothra taking Keith’s hand at one point, holding it for a long moment, before he exited back to his seat. 

“Takashi Shirogane of Earth.” 

He shook like newborn colt as he stood, uncoordinated and . Every cell in his body was quaking and before he knew it, Krolia was pulling the cloth back for him to enter the tent. 

He forgot everything, every damn thing that had ever been in his head, when he saw Keith. 

This outfit was looser than the others, still dripping in lace, soft lilac in color and delicately floral. The silk shirt and pants, the only bit that actually covered Keith’s skin, flowed around him, shifting sweetly against his lithe form. His hair was loosely braided to the side again, chains of silver and what looked like tiny pearls were set into it and hung as well from his ears. Again his lips and eyes were dusted in red, and a lilac veil of lace covered his head from the hairline and back, pooling around his seated form. 

Keith arched one delicate eyebrow and looked pointedly at the cushion in front of him. Where Shiro was supposed to be sitting down. 

“Shit, right.” Shiro cut himself off and quickly sat. He swore he heard Krolia snort behind him, and the entrance swished shut. 

This was the closest Shiro had been to him since rescuing Allura months ago. There was a familiar kindling of their old friendship then, and it had filled Shiro with hope and warmth. 

Every trace of it was gone from Keith. His face was set in a hard, impassive stare, and his eyes were cold. Distant. It tempered Shiro, helping him recover from Keith’s beauty. He glanced away, eyes catching on the other gifts—weapons as he expected, packages of meat and sweet morsels, other items he couldn’t immediately identify—and he steeled himself for his own offering. 

“Keith, I bring a gift as a representation of my hope to court—” 

“Cut the shit, Shiro, why are you here?” 

That made Shiro look back up at Keith, mouth hanging open lamely. “Why… Keith I…” He swallowed thickly. “I meant what I said, yesterday, and I—”

“So you think you owe me this.” Keith was still expressionless, deadpan and clearly unimpressed. 

Shiro blinked and had to keep looking anywhere but Keith and his frost. “No, I mean. I do, Keith, I owe you so much. You’ve saved me more times than I can count—”

“You’re feeling guilty then.” Keith sat back and looked away. “You don’t have to. I did it, it was my choice, you don’t have to make that up to me.” 

“Keith that’s not what I meant, not all of it. There’s a lot more I want to say, if you’ll hear me out. And yes, I do owe you. You’ve saved me in ways that… that can’t even be put into _words_.”

“I just said—”

“And I wasn’t there for you back then the way I should have been. I’ve done everything wrong between us and if there’s even the slimmest chance to fix it, I want to.” He was gripping the edges of the gift in his hands so tightly he feared he’d dented it. He quickly looked down to check and was relieved to see it was unharmed. 

“That’s guilt, Shiro. And if that’s all you’re here for, go. I don’t have time for whatever hangup you suddenly have, and I have no clue what you said to my mom to convince her to let you do this, but just go. I absolve you, or whatever, but just leave.”

Shiro snapped his head back up. “Keith. No. Fuck.” Shiro took a deep breath. “I’m really not saying any of this right. There’s more, I’m here because I want this, with you. I want to try and make it up to you, to show you—”

“God, Shiro, just stop! I do _not_ have time for this right now, I’m trying to get married here. Find a life partner who chooses _me_.” 

“Keith that’s exactly what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to show you—”

“That you feel bad after breaking my heart? Wonderful, good to know.”

“—that I love you!” 

Keith’s poker face broke, eyes flaring wide in shock and then narrowing to diamond slits, yellow bleeding in around them. Pinpricks of sharp canines poked over Keith’s lips as they curled into a snarl. “You _what_?” 

He had to face this. Shiro had to face the pain he’d caused Keith all these years, so he looked Keith dead in the eye as he spoke. “I love you. And I have for probably a very long, very blind, very oblivious time. I can’t change the hurt that my inability to come to terms with my own feelings caused. That I couldn’t acknowledge everything you were giving our… to _us_. I told you I didn’t deserve to be here, but like you said for some unknown reason your mother let me in. If there’s even the smallest chance, I’m going to take it, and tell you I’m sorry. I fucked up. But I love you, Keith.”

The heat in Keith’s eyes faded and was replaced with cold fury. “Get out.” 

“Okay, but just, can I show you this?” He lifted the gift in his hands, showing Keith the small square scrapbook he’d carried all this way. “I don’t know what you’ll do with it, but I think you need to see—”

“There is _nothing_ you can show me right now that I would ever want to see. Get. Out.” 

Shiro put the scrapbook down between them, reaching for the cover. This wasn’t just about them anymore, and Keith’s anger be damned he wasn’t going to fuck this up too. “Keith please, just, look. There’s something you need to know.” 

A flash of metal, and he was face to face with the wicked short sword that had been at Keith’s side, now in Keith’s white knuckled grip. 

Shiro gulped and pressed on. “I found your dad’s family.” 

The sword clattered to the ground. 

Shiro flipped the scrapbook open to the first page, a picture carefully pasted there with neat handwriting naming every single person piled into the family photo. “I know you always wondered about your dad’s family. So I pulled the rank and fame card and went digging. A woman’s name came up, and I set a meeting with her. The moment we sat down she said, ”You know the Black Paladin, right? The one who’s half-Gala?” I said yeah, and she started crying.” 

Shiro pointed to the woman near the front of the photo, her brown hair pulled back in a bun and heavily streaked with white. She had a smile that looked just like Keith’s. 

“This is your Grandmother, Maggie. I guess your pops and his step-father butted heads a lot, come find out for good reason, but Maggie couldn’t see it yet. So when your dad moved out to the desert he basically cut himself off from the family. Told your grandmother if his step-dad was around, he wouldn’t be.

“It’s what prompted your grandmother to divorce, and when she reached out to Tex he didn’t respond. We figured out that the timing matches up with when your mother landed on Earth, and that your dad was just protecting her and his family both.” 

Shiro paused, but the only sound was Keith’s heavy breathing, so he pressed on. “Your dad homeschooled you, didn’t make any formal records about you, and so when he died, the State made paperwork on the spot and put you in the system. Someone out there needs to be fired because they never contacted your Dad’s next of kin. Hell, your grandmother didn’t find out he was gone until a month after the fire when the station finally found some old contact info. 

“The station told them about you, but the State wouldn’t let them have access to information. Your Uncle Joe,” Shiro pointed to a man who looked like Keith’s dad but with cropped, salt-and-pepper hair, “He kept petitioning the system as much as he could afford to, but he never got anywhere. They’d all given up hope, and then your grandmother saw you on TV. She thought she was going crazy, thinking that her grandson could be you, savior of the universe, but she couldn’t shake the thought. Between the three of us we finally got the State to open up the records and prove they were your family.” Shiro gently pushed the scrapbook closer to Keith. “She put this together for you, asked me to bring it to you and let you know that they would love to meet you, if you wanted that.” Shiro leaned back. “I think she’s afraid that because her marriage pushed Tex away, that you won’t want anything to do with them either.” 

Keith reached out to touch the picture with shaking fingertips. “What would you have done if you’d been dismissed?” 

He looked up, but Keith’s face was obscured, head bent low over the scrapbook. Shiro shifted and began to stand. “I would have asked Hunk to give it to you,” he said. “I would never keep this from you, Keith. Whatever happens after this, between us, is up to you. I’ll respect your wishes, I promise. I just… I wanted to try, if I could.” 

He left the tent, forgetting completely that Krolia was right outside. She was standing in front of him, and at first he thought it was to confront him, but her hands were pressed over her mouth, and her body was curled away from the rest of the courtyard. She was hiding the tears streaming down her face. 

Shiro gave her a weak smile, and returned to his seat. 

* * *

The tent flap pulled back and Krolia came inside, sitting heavily where Shiro had just been. “Little Star?” 

He couldn’t look away from the picture, the huge cluster of people and names of a family he’d never known. His father talked so rarely about them, Keith had thought they weren’t good people. Now that he knew the whole story, he could see how his father tried to protect them, and him, as best he could. 

With shaking fingers he turned the page. It was a picture of a young woman holding a little boy, his face bright and smiling. ‘Maggie Kogane, Heath “Tex” Kogane, age 7’ was written in the same neat hand across the top. On the opposite page was more of the same handwriting. A letter to him from his grandmother. 

He choked down the sob in his throat best he could. 

“Oh, Keith.” Krolia pulled him into her arms, holding him tight. “What are you going to do?” 

He shuddered in her arms. “I don’t know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can yell at me on twitter


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro faces Keith's judgement on his courtship gift, and his affections.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March: shutdown and quarantine will have me writing EVERY DAY. So much TIME TO CREATE. Plus it can't get any worse... can it? 
> 
> 3 Months Later: ...get me off this ride... 
> 
> But hey! Chapter 4 is done, and I can feel my creative juices coming back :D Hope this one was worth the wait!

With the presentation of gifts over, Kolivan shuffled them to the upstairs of the compound and into a large sitting room overlooking the courtyard. Keith would be up to make his announcements later. Nothing to do now but wait, Shrio found himself tucked in one of the window seats, opposite Renvar, watcihng the clean up going on below. 

“He’s rather exquisite,” Renvar said. 

Shiro had to agree. Keith had thrown the veil around his arm, out of the way, and kept trying to help with the tent teardown and cleanup. Kolivan and the other Blades shooed Keith away to his pile of gifts each time, but Keith would sneak back out, unable to sit still or not help. 

“I have to admit, I would not have though he, of all people, would ask for something like this,” Renvar commented. 

Shiro watched Keith stealthily pull up an armful of throw pillows and plop them down triumphantly in front of Kolivan with a shit eating grin. It’d been too long since Shiro had seen him make that face, full of life and mischief. “I wouldn’t have either,” he said slowly, “if I didn’t know him so well.” 

“If you’re so keenly aware of his feelings, that begs the question why you’re here,” Renvar murmured. “But I’m sure you’ve been asked that enough already.” 

Shiro flicked his gaze up to Renvar. He wasn’t big for a Galra, smaller than Kolivan and Xegothra both. He was full bodied though, just a bit bigger than Shiro himself in build. His eyes were pure golden, indicating either generations of quintessence use, or extensive personal use. He had scars on his arm, one along his neck, and a bat-like ear. Renvar was certainly attractive, in that masculine, rugged, war hero sense. 

“It’s been a frequent question, yes,” Shiro said, finally responding. “But if my declaration wasn’t enough information you’ll have to keep guessing. The rest is between Keith and I.”

Renvar chuckled. “Well, and any of us in earshot while he screams at you.” 

Shiro flinched and steadfastly looked back out the window. He wouldn’t rise to the bait. 

“I can’t imagine what you brought that would make him sound like that. I found a luxite plated crest of Krolia’s family. Some old general obsessed with the golden days of Daibazaal had gotten his hands on it. It wasn’t hard to liberate.” Renvar uncrossed his legs and settled firmly against the wall, smirk clear. “I knew it would be received somberly. I thought mine would be the standout reaction. But the _venom_ in his voice for you—”

“Are you done?” 

Renvar looked up at Shiro, his luminescent eyes cold and mocking. “Hit a nerve? All I’m saying is that we are all here to court Keith, and to that end ensure he is comfortable during this time. You,” he extended a clawed finger to Shiro. “Disrupt that.” 

“How fortunate for you then that I’ll likely be gone after today,” Shiro said through gritted teeth. “But, if by some unknown grace I’m not, I’ll say this only once more—what’s between Keith and I, is between _us_.” 

“Whatever you say, _Champion_.” 

Shiro snarled, Altean hand lighting up like his Galra hand used to, but electric blue. Renvar growled low in his throat and pulled up onto his knees to pounce. 

“Enough!” 

Xegothra’s large hand pressed Shiro back by the chest. Sudjar and Zikhok were there with him and blocked Renvar. 

“Renvar, I would advise against antagonizing Admiral Shirogane. It has not got well for those who have tried,” Xegothra said evenly. 

“I would be threatened, if not for how many times Commander Kogane has had to rescue him,” Renvar sneered. 

“I would feel even more threatened then, given the Commander’s proximity. You would not have a head start when he seeks revenge.” Renvar opened his mouth but Xegothra neatly cut him off. “If you really think that he would not seek retribution for harm to Shirogane, you’re a fool.” 

Renvar pushed up from his seat and they all tensed, but he chuffed and retreated to the far end of the room. The other Blades left, but Xegothra took up Renvar’s vacated spot. He looked Shiro over. “You cannot let him get to you, any of them.” 

Shiro held his Altean arm to his chest, gaze back on the courtyard below. His eyes couldn’t stay off Keith. He was unaware of the scuffle above, showing Hunk each of his gifs, explaining them carefully as Hunk picked up each one for inspection. He fumbled with the short sword Keith had threatened Shiro with, and Keith nimbly plucked it from his hands with a wry smile. 

“I know,” Shiro said. “I was doing all right until he called me ‘Champion’.”

Xegothra grimaced. “I don’t know that I’d stop you next time, in that case.” His features softened a hair. “You are a good man, Shirogane.” 

“Shiro,” he said. “I usually go by Shiro.”

Xegothra considered this and turned to look out the window. “Those who I am close with call me Xeg. I would not mind if you did.” 

“Thanks.” Shiro watched Keith offer small morsels from a box to Hunk. “What did you get him?”

“Those,” Xeg said softly. “It’s a traditional Galran sweet, one the nobility used to eat. It is traditional for suitors to present those they court with gifts of food, typically homemade. I had mentioned this dish to him once, on a mission, and he’d said he wanted to try all traditional Galra foods.” He laughed quietly. “I did not make them well, but he seems to be enjoying them, and your friend.” 

“That’s… very sweet of you,” Shiro said. 

“What of your gift?” Xegothra was staring at him. “I understand it may not have been as… simple.”

Shiro groaned. “You mean everyone heard him shouting at me.” 

“The tension was clear.”

Shiro sighed. Hunk had just picked up the scrapbook and Keith’s entire demeanor changed. “I gave him information he didn’t have before.” 

* * *

“Wow Shiro made you a scrapbook? That’s cute dude.” 

“No Hunk, wait—”

Hunk ignored him and flipped through the pages. “Oh man, who are these people? I’ve never seen either of you with…them… Keith? Is this your family?”

“Hunk, just give it back, please.” He still hadn’t looked all the way through the book yet. There were too many emotions hitting him at once. 

“Keith, did Shiro find your Earth family? Oh my god that’s amazing, that’s got to be the best gift, hands down!” He was still looking through each page, faces of blood relatives Keith never knew flashing on them. 

Keith felt anger edge out over the other feelings in his gut. “Yeah, the gift of personal information. Not invasive at all. Totally romantic to look up someone’s long lost family and just go ‘here they are if you wanted them! I did this as a gift hoping you’d forgive and marry me’, nothing sketch there.” 

Hunk stopped looking at the book and turned to Keith. “I mean, yeah? I don’t think Shiro did this thinking it’d woo you over Keith. He knows he messed up. I think he probably just did it because he knew it was important to you.” 

Keith humphed. “Yeah, and if he hadn’t made it this far?”

Hunk frowned. “No, no Keith he was going to have me give it to you.” When Keith rolled his eyes Hunk pressed on. “No seriously. While he was on Earth I got this message from him, talking about he’d found something that you might want, but that he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get it to you during all this. He asked if he could give it to me if he couldn’t.” 

“Still. He held onto all of this information just so he could act like finding my family for me was a _gift_? I was my right to know this stuff, Hunk!” 

“Yeah, but your Grandma told him to.” 

“And I—what!” Keith snapped his head to Hunk. “What are you talking about.”

“Right here, last page.” Hunk cleared his throat and started reading in a terrible old-lady voice. _“Keith, I know that we don’t know each other, and I’m just a picture on the page right now, but Takashi went through a lot to bring us back together, if you want that. I asked him to use this as his gift to you for the courtship ritual you’re doing. He wasn’t going to, but I think he deserves to be the one to reunite us after all that he’s done to make it possible—_ hey!” 

Keith snatched the book away and read the page. And reread it. 

“Oh.” 

  
  


Dusk was falling when Kolivan came in. The suitors got lined up on one end of the room, while Krolia and the Paladins set up the same seat cushions that had been in the tent. An official camera crew, just three people, filed to the side. When it was all settled, Krolia retrieved Keith and escorted him in. 

He was again in the black and red ensemble, once more covered from ankle to neck. His hair was braided up, completing the severe look and erasing the casual, sensual man in lilac from earlier that day. 

Krolia gave Keith a short nod and he took a deep breath before speaking. “Suitors, you have all brought offerings of great value, and I thank you for each of them. There are seven, however, that have touched me in their sincerity and thoughtfulness. Those I choose shall remain eligible to seek my hand.

“DJ’ik, and Kepva, please step forward.”

The lone Altean of their number, and a man who reminded Shiro deeply of the first Blue Paladin, stepped forward. 

“You brought with you your culture, presenting me with hard won and precious items to express your intent and seriousness in this matter. I am honored by your gifts.”

Both men bowed, expressing their gratitude and returning to their positions. 

“Eigbar, please step forward.” 

The thin, older Galra moved to Keith. 

“You as well brought tradition with you, showcasing the courtship habits of old Daibazaal. As we all seek to bring back that which we lost as a culture, I am honored by your gift.” 

Eigbar as well bowed and went back to the line. 

“Sudjar, please step forward.” Keith smiled at him. “Your expert craftsmanship, and revival of your clan’s talents, are well seen in the sword you brought. I am honored by your gift.” 

Shiro blanched and recalled the details of that sword being pointed at him, shiver running down his spine and nearly making him miss what happened next.

“Takashi Shirogane.” 

Shiro shook his head, certain he’d misheard Keith. On his throne of pillows, Keith pursed his lips, waiting. 

He stumbled forward, heart in his throat. 

“You spent great time and effort in making your offering, and delivering it safely to me. I am honored by your gift.” 

Shiro bowed low, words rushing out of his mouth without thought. “It was my honor to give it.” He quickly backed up to his spot and tried to focus on the final two names—Renvar and Xegothra—but his body was electric. 

Keith had chosen him. He still had a chance. 

* * *

The ceremony was broadcast the next morning, but Shiro didn’t watch it. He wasn’t sure he could stomach seeing himself being a nervous wreck.

Those remaining would now face the third, and possibly longest task. The forebearers of this tradition had luckily understood that marriage wasn’t something to jump into, even in these parameters. The third sage was one of time—time to get to know one another and kin. To see if longterm the match would work. This was also the only stage suitors were allowed to leave at, of their own volition. 

Shiro genuinely wondered how many of them would actually give up the chance at Keith though. 

It was past dinner when his comm pinged. 

_You will dine with Commander Kogane tomorrow evening. You will be picked up and escorted to meet him. Dress formally._

Below the name of where they would eat and the time were stamped out in Galran.

Shiro let out a long breath. “Okay.” 

* * *

Sardek, Daibazaal’s capital city, had grown up in a flash. Shiro sat back in the automatic transport and stared out the window slack-jawed. He’d avoided Daibazaal for a slew of reasons before Allura had been rescued, only seeing landing platforms and Coalition buildings. But this was breathtaking. It reminded him of old, romanticized pictures of New York, or Tokyo. Altea’s cities weren’t tall, Olkari cities were subdued in color, blending with nature, Earth was still rebuilding and the raw steel and stone felt dated at times. _This_ though, was stunning. 

The buildings towered, monoliths of dark steel vibrant with light. Purples and reds didn’t dominate like the old Galra motifs, but were broken up with cerulean blues and diamond whites. Trees lined the streets and balconies on industrial buildings were lush, overflowing with flora. This wasn’t the Daibazaal Black had shown him, it wasn’t the Daibazaal he’d envisioned at all. The sky was alive with ships and the bright twin moons, entrancing in their pinkish color. This was the city Keith had called home since the end of the war. 

The transport stopped and Shiro shook himself from his reverie. His neck was stiff from craning up and he had to roll it around a bit before he could focus ahead of him. 

The restaurant was at the top of a skyscraper, twinkling with lights along its dark steel frame like many of the other buildings around him. His escort directed him inside and pushed the elevator floor for him before departing. Shiro watched the city fall away below him though the glass as he rose through the air. 

The doors opened to a mater-dee, and the woman smiled at him in that reserved, Galra way. 

“Admiral Shirogane?” 

He stepped out of the elevator and noticed the once over she gave him. This kimono was navy, with an overlapping white and gold floral pattern, a dark gray haori toning down the flash. He cleared his throat and her eyes snapped back up to him. “Yes, I’m here to meet Commander Kogane?” 

She smiled again. “This way.” 

Everything was light in color, crystal tinkling again soft conversations had over fine, cream linen. He was led through what felt like the whole restaurant before they came to a bone-white partition that looked like carved ivory. She moved a panel to the side and gestured him forward. 

Shiro inclined his head in thanks and walked in. 

He was prepared for a din of noise, for their shared family and maybe even Keith’s new family to be scattered around a huge table. Instead the private room was almost empty, open on three sides to glass floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. The table was wide, but could only seat at maximum four humans, certainly only two Galra. There was only one person seated. 

“Hello, Shiro.” 

Keith looked like he was part of the grandeur, decked in white and gold. The gown was like the others, flowing, high necked, but littered with cutouts of lace that exposed the skin beneath. The entire ensemble was trimmed in gold, coming high up his throat and shimmering down his long arms. His hair was braided to the side again, this time adorned with small white flowers. He looked like a bride. 

Shiro catalogued all of this, how each time he saw Keith it stole his breath, as he sat down. 

He opened his mouth to greet Keith, but what came out was, “I thought this was a family dinner?” 

Keith lowered his eyes and plucked at the table cloth. “It is, but I thought since we share so much family, it may have made it more awkward than not.” He bit his lip and looked out the window. “Maggie and Joe are on their way. They’ll arrive next movement, but I’d like to spend time with them alone, first.” 

Shiro let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That’s—that’s really good to hear Keith. I’m glad they’re coming.” 

Keith snorted. “Yeah, come meet your grandson while he completes an insane betrothal ritual on another planet, let’s just dive right into your half-alien grandkid.” 

“I don’t think she, or Joe, will care much about that.” 

“You’d know.” Keith’s gaze was sharp when he looked at Shiro again. “ _You’ve_ met them.” 

“Keith.” He should have guessed Keith’s ire hadn’t melted yet. “I was just going to try and find info on them, but when Maggie asked to meet and told me the story I had to help however I could, for all of you.”

“And then you thought you’d make a gift out of my personal information.” 

“Damnit Keith, no. It was the one thing you’ve always wanted an answer to, but you’ve also been terrified to find out. So I looked. If it was bad I was going to find something else, but if there was something good I wanted to give you the option. Even if it meant they contacted you before the whole gift thing, I’d find something else. I just… I had the idea and wanted to do it for you. No matter how this,” he gestured between them, “wound up.”

Shiro sighed. “I told you grandmother about us. A lot about us, actually, and why I was doing this. She’s the one who came up with the idea of giving you the scrapbook as my offering. She said she was going to ask me to bring it to you anyway, and since I’d been the one to seek her out, she thought it should come from me. I promised her that if I didn’t make it past the first trial, that I’d get it to you before I left Daibazaal.” 

Keith looked away again. “I know.” 

“You—” 

“Maggie told me as much.” Keith reached down to the floor and pulled up a stiff piece of paper—the menu—and settled his eyes there. “I’m still mad at you.” 

“I know that.” 

“What the hell were you thinking.”

“I wasn’t—wait about what? The gift? Being here?” 

Keith’s eyes met his momentarily. “Any of it.” 

“Keith, I was going to regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t at least tell you, at least-”

“Try.” Keith set the menu down. “Try to convince me not to stab you with a fork over dinner, and we’ll go from there.”

“Does this place even have forks?” 

“Shiro.” 

Keith looked exasperated now, and Shiro tried out a grin. Keith just pulled the menu back up. Shiro looked over the edge of the table for his own and came up empty. 

“You don’t have one,” Keith said. 

“Can’t be trusted to order my own food?” He laughed, hoping a self deprecating joke might bring this a little closer to normal. Hell even a fraction closer to normal. He ached for the days on Earth, after the Lions fell and Keith was still grounded by his injuries, when they’d sneak out to the stalls that had cropped up along the Garrison and eat cheap, fried, greasy piles of food until their guts busted. Shiro in his undershirt and dress slacks, Keith in a borrowed hoodie and leggings. 

He was realizing he didn’t know this Keith, hadn’t for a while. This Keith looked like royalty as he eyed Shiro over the top of the pristine menu. “Can you read Galran suddenly?”

Shiro flushed. “Ah, no. Can’t say I brushed up on that more than the basics from… well you know.”

Keith grunted and turned back to the menu. Their waiter came, kneeling down beside Keith without a word. Keith murmured orders to him, pointing at a couple of things. The man nodded politely, completely professional save his ears flicking in Shiro’s direction every now and again. He rose with a word of assent and left them again. 

“You sound good.” Shiro nearly smacked his hand over his own mouth. Keith’s eyebrows shot up under his bangs and Shiro felt his tongue go in knots trying to save himself. “I mean your Galran, it’s gotten better, sounds good—more fluid?” He groaned. 

Keith slowly set the menu back down to the floor. “Were you this bad on all your dates?” 

Shiro laughed. “With Adam? Yes, you know he was the smooth one.” Shiro was silent, letting the memory of Adam wash over them for a moment. He’d been Keith’s friend too. “I probably wasn’t much better with—“ He stopped and cleared his throat. “I probably wasn’t much better any other time either.”

“You can say it.” Keith said. He was looking at Shiro with that intense unreadable expression. “His name isn’t forbidden.” 

Shiro swallowed. “I didn’t think you’d want to hear about him.”

“You were married, Shiro,” Keith said quietly. “That doesn’t just get erased because it hurts me. You don’t get to just show me the parts you want me to see, not when you’re here, trying to get married again, to _me_.” 

Shiro ducked his head. He couldn’t take the way Keith was looking at him. “You always saw through it all anyway.” 

They were silent until the waiter returned with drinks—one glass filled with water, another tall and fluted, filled with something clear and bubbling. 

“Akar wine,” Keith said when they were alone again. “It’s dry, but nicer than Nunvil.” 

Shiro laughed. “Anythings nicer than Nunvil.” It was like a dry white, bright notes of citrus dancing on his tongue. “I like it.” 

For the first time Keith smiled. Small, private, blink-and-you-miss-it, smile, but there it was. Shiro smiled too. “Keith?”

Keith looked up, any hint of the smile gone from him. He titled his head in a question. 

“Tell me about your work with the Blades?” 

It broke some of the wall between them, that simple question. It took a while, almost until their entrees, for Keith to fully open up, but he did. Gushing about their humanitarian work, regaling close calls of not-so-friendly negotiations, laughing at stories, and Shiro laughing too. 

He asked Shiro about ATLAS and the Garrison. Endlessly about how Earth was doing since he saw it so little. Shiro was floored by the realization that he _didn’t_ know this Keith. He’d taken for granted that he would always know Keith, and in the process missed the person he’d flourished into. 

By the end of the meal, and a few more glasses of the not-wine, Keith was relaxed next to the table, legs stretched out and leaned back on an elbow, looking out at the city. Shiro was facing the window too, similarly lounging while they let the silence pull in around them. 

“It’s a beautiful city,” he murmured. He heard Keith hum and turned to look at him. 

“It is.” Keith sighed and pulled back up into a proper sitting position. “This didn’t fix everything, you know.” 

Shiro stayed where he was, afraid to move, to breathe, and ruin this moment. 

Keith went on. “I’m still mad. I’m still _hurt_ , Shiro.” He licked his lips. “But this was nice. I… I’ve missed you.” His eyes met Shiro’s, the wall of anger gone, leaving only hurt in their indigo depths. 

“I missed you too Keith,” Shiro rasped. 

There was a knock on the partition that startled them both. 

Krolia’s voice found them. “Keith? It’s time.” 

Keith cleared his throat and pushed up from the table to stand. Shiro was on his feet in moments, offering his hand, trying to be gentlemanlike. Keith huffed and ignored him, standing on his own. 

“I’ll be in touch,” he said. In a whisper of silk he was gone past the partition, and Shiro was alone. 

* * *

The days that followed were agonizingly slow. Shiro filled the time with exercising and catching up on reading, though he found he couldn’t always focus and it became frustrating going over paragraphs multiple times. Eventually he settled into a language app that helped him work his slow and stumbling way through Galran. 

The others had their dinners with Keith. Sometimes they came back to the compound, a couple of them had their dinner and solo outing with Keith back to back, the noise of their return from the dates seared in Shiro’s ear. 

He was trying out a lesson on formal greetings when Renvar’s voice boomed over the courtyard. He tried not to eavesdrop, but Renvar was making it difficult. 

“Still, I can’t begrudge Lotor for his ambitions. Most of us admire his tenacity and cunning,” he was saying. 

“He was slowly killing Alteans to do it though,” Keith said. He was exasperated, and Shiro wondered how long this conversation had been going on. 

Renvar practically crooned to Keith. “True, his methods weren’t the best. All I mean to say is that you can’t categorically call him evil for a few poor ideas, _kinpa_.” 

_Kinpa_ , Shiro knew that word from Xeg, it was the name of the sweets he’d made for Keith. Renvar was using it as a pet name, and it made Shiro’s skin crawl. 

“You weren’t the one who had to fight him, Ren,” Keith said evenly. 

“This is true, and I’ve heard you made to go back for him? That it was the Princess who stopped you?” Renvar sighed. “You’d think she had more compassion.” 

Shiro stood up, Keith’s opinion be damned he wasn’t going to let a comment like that slide. 

“There wasn’t time,” Keith said. “If we’d stayed to get him, we all would have been lost. Allura of all people would be the last to give up on Lotor.” 

“This is why I admire you, _kinpa_ ,” Renvar said. “You see the best in everyone, despite the hardship you have suffered.” 

They came into view between the trees, Renvar’s grin and Keith’s responding blush fully visible. The line of conversation wasn’t pleasant perhaps, but they were having a good time together. Renvar had an arm around Keith’s waist, his hand making Keith look delicate and sweet. A pure image of young lovers. 

Shiro sat back down, ignoring the beep from his app telling him he hadn’t responded in a while. He continued to ignore it long after Keith and Renvar were gone, staring out at the place they had been. 

Shiro’s second invitation came when nearly all the other suitors had spent their time with Keith. He was instructed to wake early the next day, and given a parcel of clothes to wear for what he would be doing with Keith, which was mentioned nowhere in the invitation itself. 

There were a pair of sturdy pants and a similar jacket, both reinforced in places with leather. Soft, fingerless leather gloves came too, and a formidable pair of boots, all the garments sized just for him. 

“What are you up to Keith?” 

An escort picked him up while the suns were still low in the sky, and drove them out well past the city to the plains. This was where, in one lifetime, the comet had crashed into Daibazaal and changed the course of all history. Now the land was unblemished, stretching for golden miles. 

A cluster of buildings came into view a varga into their drive and the escort guided Shiro through what was clearly a ranch, to where Keith was waiting for him, not alone this time. 

“Commander,” The escort greeted. 

Shiro just stared, and stared, trying to put together what he was seeing and the implications of it. 

“Thank you, Utyr, we’ll manage from here. I’ll message when we’re on our way back.” Keith said. 

The escort left, and Shiro was left slack jawed with Keith and… the beasts. 

There hadn’t been a lot of alien species that made him think “dragon”, but this couldn’t be anything else. The thick neck and towering head were bad enough, but the horns, the talons, and teeth filled out the picture. He was glad for the lack of wings, or he would have walked away. 

“You up for the challenge, old timer?” 

Shiro turned. Keith was already up off the ground and astride a beast. The lace and silk had been replaced with worn leathers. His hair was braided back, but purposefully. Tight and unadorned. 

“This isn’t what I thought when the invite said ‘the Bridegroom would like to go riding with you’.” The lizard-horse-dragon made a clicking, trilling sound above him. 

Keith just smirked. 

He ungracefully got onto the animal and it almost ran off with him, if not for Keith’s barked command in Galran. 

The thing careening through the plains and around massive rock formations, was called a _sylkti_. Shiro clung desperately to the reins. He was barely guiding it, letting Keith and his steed lead the way. 

He saw the appeal of it, kind of. The challenge might speak to Keith, since piloting no longer was. Shiro wanted his control panel back. 

After half a varga of hard riding Keith slowed up to let Shiro come beside him, hair still in place and barely in a sweat. “Has the great Shirogane finally met his match?” 

Shiro was a sore mess. “I’m usually not trying to control a living being,” he panted. 

Keith frowned. He leaned forward and petted the sylkti’s withers, murmuring gently to it in Galran for a moment. “It isn’t about control, Shiro, it’s a partnership. Doesn’t it feel familiar?” He asked quietly. “Riding a sylkti is the closest I’ve felt to piloting a Lion.” 

The sincerity in Keith’s voice struck Shiro. This wasn’t another challenge for Keith to prove himself in, now that Shiro was actually looking at the way Keith interacted with his sylkti. It was a relationship, one they all felt the keen absence of, even more since rescuing Allura. That had been the deal. The universe had demanded its due—they could rescue Allura, if they gave up the Lions forever. 

Shiro reached down and pressed his hand against the sylkti’s neck. It huffed and shuffled foot to foot. 

“She knows you’re nervous.” 

Shiro leaned into the touch, trying to relax while she shifted beneath him. 

Keith’s voice wafted over him again. “You have to trust her, then she can trust you.” 

Shiro smiled. “I see why this reminds you of the Lions.” He forced his breathing to slow. “Then again, Black always trusted you.” 

Keith scoffed. “Probably because you were _in_ there when I became her Paladin.” 

Shiro looked up. “I was talking about the first time. When you saved me.” 

Keith watched him for a long, unreadable moment. “Place we’re headed is about another half varga ride.” He spurred his sylkti into motion. “Try and keep up this time!” 

This time the ride was better. Shiro tried to feel the body beneath him and work with it. He actually caught up to Keith, but was never able to overtake him. Shiro was all right with that. 

Watching Keith ride, it was clear that the Slykti was _his_. They moved as a unit, fluid and fast. It wasn’t unlike watching Keith pilot Red. 

They crested a hill and a wide lake came into view. The far half of it was surrounded by forest, Daibazaal’s natural, vine-like trees creating an overgrown mass. It looked beautiful, despite the chaos of limbs. 

Keith led them to a copse of trees on the nearside of the lake and neatly dismounted. Shiro was a little more than clumsy, nearly falling on his ass. 

“What’s its name?” he asked once safely on the ground, trying to cover up his fumble. “Your sylkti?” 

Keith flushed and turned to his saddlebags, diving deep into one. “Av’ra. It means ‘red’ in Galran. She’s Sipta’s sister, yours.” 

Shiro looked up at his ride. “Hi Sipta. Wonder what your name means, huh?” 

“Black.” 

Shiro looked slowly back at Keith. He was still deep in the saddlebag, but must have felt Shiro's eyes on him. “I was restless after moving here. Being leader, Commander, I didn’t go on as many missions. Mom taught me to ride one day and it felt—the _connection_ felt so good.” He pulled something large free with a happy grunt. “Mom gave them to me as yearlings not long after. Not super creative names, I know, but I felt alone without Black or Red in my head. When they came back to rescue Allura I thought…” he shook his head. “Anyway, I’m glad I have these girls. They keep me sane, you know?” 

Shiro looked back up at Sipta, suddenly deeply grateful to the creature. 

“Come on,” Keith said. “You’re probably thirsty.” 

Shiro rounded the sylktis and saw Keith was laying out a picnic. 

“Riding usually takes a lot out of you,” he said. “Come on, sit.”

Shiro sat gingerly. “The sylkti?” They were standing free behind them, sniffing at the air. 

“They’re fine,” Keith pulled out a thermos and poured Shiro a cup of something light pink. “They’re really smart.” 

The drink was like a milky, cold tea. Floral, and a little bitter, but refreshing. Keith continued to unpack the basket, all Galran snack foods that Shiro didn’t recognize. Last though was a small bowl that he handed to Shiro. “In case you don’t like any of this stuff.”

Shiro opened the container and smelled the contents before he saw them. “How—”

“Hunk. He always brings cheese with him in case. Wasn’t hard to get some noodles and put it together.” 

Shiro set the dish down and stared at Keith. “When are you going to stop amazing me?” 

Keith froze, eyes trained on the food in front of them. “When are you going to stop being surprised that I love you?” 

Air left Shiro’s lungs and his lips parted. He’d hoped. Beyond hoped—he’d begged, prayed for this. His voice shook when he found it. “Keith, you…”

“I never stopped loving you Shiro.” He sighed, a deep, weary one that felt like the weight of nations. “I just gave up.” He swallowed. “Let’s eat. I’ll explain what it all is as we go.” 

It was hard to focus on food after that. Keith didn’t allow time for anything else though, barreling through the dishes and demanding Shiro’s opinion of it all, redirecting them to it any time Shiro tried to talk about something else. It was all delicious, though it barely left him room for the mac n’ cheese. Keith helped, sheepishly adding he should have just let Hunk make it like he’d offered. 

“No, it’s good, Keith,” Shiro said, and it felt like that simple sentence meant too much. 

They were sprawled on the blanket now, staring out at the lake. Close, closer than they had been yet, hands almost touching. 

Keith broke the quiet, voice a little stilted. “The new arm. It looks good.” 

Shiro looked down at it, the sun glinting off the white plating. “Thanks. It feels better than the other ones. The Galra one was just so heavy all the time. The one Sam made was great for the war, but clumsy for daily life. This one has a little of both.” 

Keith frowned. “How so?” 

“Well, the mechanics and size are closer to the Galra one, but it’s lighter and has the power of the other. Plus, if it’s getting to me, I can take it off, and the port is less than half the size of the old one.” He chuckled. “Being able to sleep on that side again has been great.” 

Keith lifted his hand to touch but pulled it halfway back when he realized what he was doing. 

“It’s okay.” Shiro reached his arm out, palm up. Tentatively Keith took his hand and Shiro tried not to sigh in relief out loud. 

“Why the black?” Keith asked, his fingers just brushing Shiro’s dark, matte ones. 

“I got used to it, with the older arm. I don’t know, I just like the way it looks. Feels right.” The sensors in it were the most precise ones yet, and Shiro shivered at the touch of Keith’s hand, cool and gentle. 

The moment felt heavy, delicate, so of course Shiro shattered it. 

“Black was always yours, you know.” 

Keith dropped his hand. “What?” 

The words just kept coming. “I was always ready for you to lead, I’d hoped that you would when I was gone. But when you saved me, I felt it—Black choosing you. It’s why I said what I did.” He turned fully to Keith. “I knew she’d be yours one day.” 

Keith looked gobsmacked, face scrunched in shock, then anger. “You always think you’re doing what’s best for people around you, don’t you.” 

Shiro frowned. “What the hell does that mean?” 

“It means you never asked me. Never thought about how I was going to get there, just that you knew I could.” Keith rolled up and started to pack the remnant of lunch away. “Just like you’ve always known that I love you, you just refused to think of outside of the box you put me in.” 

The truth in that stung, twisting Shiro’s insides up, so he swiped back. “You’re not exactly an open book, Keith. You keep accusing me of acting on guilt and obligation, but I couldn't have had the same fear about you, when you were so young?” 

Keith laughed humorlessly. “Says the man who’s known me best.” He shoved the basket off the blanket. “Get up, we’re leaving.” 

They rode in silence for the first half of the ride back. Shiro watched Keith ahead of him, trying to sort out the hurt here, the missteps. Keith wasn’t wrong, Shiro had boxed him in during those crazy days out on the edge, fighting for things beyond themselves. But it wasn’t like Keith had opened up easily, or ever gave Shiro the entire picture. 

Twilight was passing over them when Keith motioned to break at the same place they had on the way out. He refused to look at Shiro as he let Av’ra have her head, sniffing at the ground. Shiro couldn’t leave it like this, not when they were finally getting somewhere. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen better,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask more. I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to all the things you were trying to say through your actions until it was too late. I’m sorry that I let myself be so obtuse about it.” He gripped the reins tight. “I wish I could say it was because you never told me outright, because it was right there, in a million little things you did, and I didn’t see it.” He felt Sipta shift beneath him, watching Keith’s unflinching back. 

“I did tell you,” Keith said, almost too quiet to hear. “Once.” 

Keith took off, leaving Shiro alone. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro arrived back at the complex when the sun was low in the sky. There had been parting words at the ranch, but he didn’t remember any of them, Keith had been formal about it. Shiro had likely made an ass of himself, but what was that in the face of what Keith had said?   
> I told you, once.   
> The memory wasn’t there, and it should be. He’d remember Keith saying something so important, wouldn't he? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crawls in 3 months late with no Starbucks* It's been rough, folxs. 
> 
> I am so, so sorry for the delay in this. The chapter itself kept giving me hell, and then life would give me hell, and it was a ping-pong of trying to find space to finish this well. 
> 
> HUGE thanks to Colie for struggling through this chapter with me-she beat it to hell and made it behave when I was too tired to deal with it's butt. I hope everything in it turned out how I hoped.

Shiro arrived back at the complex when the sun was low in the sky. There had been parting words at the ranch, but he didn’t remember any of them, Keith had been formal about it. Shiro had likely made an ass of himself, but what was that in the face of what Keith had said? 

_I told you, once_. 

The memory wasn’t there, and it should be. He’d remember Keith saying something so important, wouldn't he? 

Shiro was so caught up in his thoughts he nearly ran right into Renvar, who was waiting just inside the entrance with a wide grin. 

“It’s impolite of me,” he simpered. “But I do so love watching you with your tail tucked.” 

Shiro didn’t have it in him to fight the asshole. He brushed past Renvar and made for his own quarters. 

“He take you sylkti riding, too?” 

Shiro froze. 

“Impressive.” Renvar chuckled. “I don’t know which is more astounding, that they found you an unbound sylkti to ride, or that you managed not to die riding one. Keith must truly want to get back at you, making you suffer a ride like that.” 

Shiro stood still as he could, not wanting to give this man an _inch_. 

“He didn’t tell you, did he?” Renvar was close now, footsteps slow, voice low and mocking. “Sylkti only allow their bonded riders and those their riders trust, to mount their back. A _deep_ connection is required. Anything less and the beast will try and kill you. Even the unbound ones have been known to harm inexperienced riders.” He stepped around Shiro to look him up and down, assessing for injury. “Truly, I’m impressed you came back, _Champion_. My own steed was a terrible time to train. Tell me, what was yours like? Surely a contrast to Keith riding Sipta, they’re beautiful together, don’t you think?” 

“Wouldn't know,” Shiro said mildly. 

Renvar snorted. “Too preoccupied trying to stay on?” 

“No, Keith rode Av’ra.” He stepped around Renvar. “ _I_ rode Sipta.” 

* * *

Keith announced their names in another private ceremony at his mother’s compound, the courtyard thick with tension. There had been no lingering afterward, no explanation, just ushering the suitors back to their compound to prepare, or pack. 

By the grace of some god Shiro didn’t know, he made it through the third trial. 

* * *

The city lights twinkled outside his window, welcoming him home for the first time in the month since this whole ordeal had started. His mother’s home had grown too crowded with Blades and his family and now… 

Now he’d made the excuse to come back to his apartment in the city to get things he wanted to show his _other_ family. The one arriving in the morning from Earth. 

Somehow, and Keith still didn’t understand at all how it happened, Lance was with him. 

Lance whistled when he stepped in all the way. “ _This_ is your place? This modern, sleek, man den? Are those couches _leather_?” 

The ribbing was expected, dreaded, and it still made him roll his eyes. “Why are you here again?”

“Chaperone,” Lance chirped. “Oh my _god_ you have a mini bar! In your living room! Who even uses it but you?” 

“I like to watch the city and have a drink, it’s a shorter walk than from the kitchen, are you done?” Keith was tempted to make a drink now, just to get through this. 

“Not by a long shot, this is insane. You— _Keith—_ live like a millionaire bachelor. Wait, do you have a huge bed? You don’t just pass out on the floor? Oh my god.” Lance took off down a hallway and Keith wished he’d upgraded to the top floor penthouse just so Lance would get lost in the extra rooms. 

“You have an office! No, wait, that makes sense.” 

“Don’t touch anything!” Keith hollered. 

Wandering his house, plucking up keepsakes from his father to share with Maggie and Joe, it felt like walking through a ghost town. This place would remain like this, a mausoleum to lonely nights and heartbreak, for only a little while longer. Soon enough it could be filled with someone else, their things interspersed with his. Maybe they’d move, find a new compound outside the city and start a family. He let his mind wander, thinking of a smaller complex, just a few units, out near the plains so they could have a proper ranch for Av’ra and Sipta. He and Shiro could—

He nearly crushed the mug in his hand. Slowly, he relaxed his grip and set the mug down. This was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid since Shiro had shown up, a wrecking ball in the plans to move on and move forward. If you looked close, and Keith feared Lance was, this place was a testament to his heartbreak. There were no hints of Shiro here. Group photos were carefully kept on digital file only, only partial group photos displayed. Nothing from his time in the Garrison. The mementos of Black were few and far between, though it pained him. Even then, in all these years, Shiro haunted each breath he took in these rooms, and the loneliness of love unrequited. 

_“…you never told me outright…”_

Crashing metal. Bone rattling explosions. Fire seared into his cheek. Keith gripped the kitchen counter and counted to ten in Olkari out loud, their language difficult enough to make him focus.

“Keith?” 

The memories fell away and he picked the cup back up. “Almost done. Wanna get a drink after this? I know a good place down the street.” 

Lance gave Keith a curious look, almost like he knew what was going on in Keith’s head. “Sure, Keith.” 

* * *

The tarmac was sticky hot and Keith was glad to be out of his bridegroom clothes, instead in an old pair of jeans and a cotton t-shirt, hair piled into a messy bun. Krolia had moved to braid it, but the minute she touched him he pulled away and grabbed a hair tie. One day, just one, not sitting through intricate braids, he’d begged. 

The shuttle was already down, passengers getting off and cleared through the checkpoints. Keith spotted them before they saw him, and he was glad for his sunglasses covering up the sudden prickling behind his eyes. 

Joe was tall and looked so much like his Pops it hurt. His hair was starting to gray, and he had a little more weight to him, with glasses perched on the end of his nose. But even then, the resemblance was striking. Maggie Kogane was something else entirely. 

She was shorter than Keith thought she’d be, her hair up in a bun not unlike his. The officer leading them down the tarmac away from everyone else looked like they were getting some sort of earful from her, and wasn’t that a sight. A five foot and spare human giving a lashing to a seven-foot tall Galra. The last time Keith had seen that was Pidge scolding Kolivan over security measures. 

“Joe!” 

Maggie had caught sight of Keith when he was off in thought, and now, ignoring the shouts of the Galra and Joe, was barreling toward him. 

“Ma! You don’t know what their customs are!” 

“I don’t give two flying shits, _that's my grandson_!” She hollered and then Keith had an armful of woman trying to squeeze his guts out. 

“Hi,” he managed, arms patting her awkwardly. She was solid, stronger by far than she looked, and he almost expected her to lift him off his feet. 

Instead she let go of his middle and brought her hands up to his face, eyes shining. “Oh,” she said, brushing hair aside. “Oh I see Tex in you. Can I?” His fingers brushed his sunglasses and all Keith could do was nod. 

She pulled them down and gasped again. Keith took the sunglasses from her and she traced gentle fingers over his brows and down his jaw. “Hello,” she said. “It’s so good to finally meet you.” 

Keith swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You too.” He bit his lip and willed his Galra traits to not react to his emotions for once. “What should I call you?”

“Grandma, I’d think, if you’re alright with that?” Nerves stole over her face, the same way they were on his. 

“I’m alright with that,” he said. There were very few times he’d initiated hugs in his life, but he couldn’t stop himself from swooping down and holding her close. “Hi Grandma,” he whispered wetly. 

“Hi,” she said, her face in his neck. 

Footsteps drew close and a hand on Maggie’s shoulder gently pulled them back. “Can I intrude?” 

Joe stood next to them, warm smile lighting up his face. They separated enough so Keith could properly shake his Uncle’s hand, but Maggie’s arm never left his waist. 

A cleared throat broke the moment and Keith noticed the officer standing there awkwardly. “We should be getting you all back home, Commander. Press will catch wind of you being here shortly.” 

Keith sniffed and schooled his face. “Right, thank you. Shall we?” 

* * *

“So then, Renvar is like ‘well if _I_ had been on that ship’, and I kid you not, Pidge nearly stabbed him with their knife!” 

Allura leaned into Lance, her face flush from wine. “Darling, I told you, we aren’t allowed to talk about the other suitors.” 

Shiro smiled into his cup and said nothing. They were all crowded into a private dining room at some restaurant Allura had access to, being royalty, and a demi-goddess. The walls were soundproof, so Lance’s ranting about Shiro’s competition was safe with them, but he suspected the nature of it was what made Allura shake her head. 

“Look, we’re all here to find Keith a good partner. And I already said I liked Xeg, _and_ Sudjar. No offense Shiro. Like, if it isn’t Shiro it needs to be one of them, because Renvar is an asshole. No—” Lance batted away Allura’s hand attempting to cover his mouth. “No, it’s true! None of us get what he sees in Renvar.”

Shiro tried not to be openly smug about that. The sentiment had been subtly repeated by most of the others, Lance simply had enough alcohol in him to be blunt about it. 

“How is it going, Shiro?” Allura asked, finally getting her hand over Lance’s mouth. “I don’t want to play the fence here, but since you made it through, I want to ask. Well, Keith was a little… despondent, when he came back from riding with you. Did something happen?”

The wine in his glass was a peachy color, another Daibazaal speciality, the same color as the fading sun behind Keith’s silhouette had been. “I don’t know what I’m doing here Allura. He gave me so many signs and I missed them _all_.” The light glinted off the wine, bright sparks in his eyes. “He said he told me, but I don’t know when. I would have remembered that.” 

“You said he did.” Lance leaned around Allura, frowning. “The night you got drunk, after your divorce. You said something about him saying he loved you.” 

“I don’t remember that at all.” Even in passing, in a friendly way, Shiro would have remembered that. Keith didn’t just _say_ things like that, there was no way Shiro would forget—“The clone.” 

“What?” Allura put her hand on his arm. 

The peach-sunset color blurred around the edges, anger clouding his vision. “He must have said it to the clone.” Jealousy welled up inside of him, at odds with the fact that it wasn’t someone else, really, that had heard those words. Just another him, the one who didn’t deserve them. 

Allura’s hand slipped from his arm, her face broken in pity. “Shiro…” 

A shill beep startled them all. The second time it sounded, Shiro realized it was coming from his pocket. 

The message on his pad was short, the contents concise, but Shiro reread it at least six times before he let himself believe what was written there. 

“Shiro?” 

Allura’s hand curled over his arm gently. Shiro barely felt it. There was a burning deep in his gut, something cold and fierce and above all furious. 

“What the _fuck_ is he thinking,” he growled. The pad edge was groaning in his hand, grip so tight he had to coach himself through unclenching each finger. 

“What is it?” Pidge was already halfway across the table, glasses glinting in the light. 

Saying it out loud was too much, the words snagged in his throat like barbs, so he shoved the pad at Allura and resisted reaching for his wine. Downing the glass in one go wasn’t going to change what he was going to face in a few days' time. 

“Well met Suitors, for your fourth trial the Bridegroom asks to prove yourself against…” she mumbled the last lines, eyes growing round. 

Pidge was nearly all the way across the table now. 

Lance stood and curled over his wife. “What is it, Allura?” 

“…Keith he.” His breath came out in huffs, barely reigning her anger in. “He’s decided to have the fourth trial, the one of touch, to be a test of physical prowess and compatibility. He’s making them face him in combat.” 

“What! After making me listen to an hour on the merits of flower arranging? That bastard, gimmie that!” Lance pulled the pad from her and read it under his breath, already pacing. 

Pidge frowned. “I thought combat wasn’t a part of the Tal’Xion anymore?” 

“Combat between suitors, no. The feats, however, can be tailored any way that the bride wishes.” Allura looked as angry as Shiro felt. “This is a very bad idea.” 

Hunk, who had remained nearly reaction less through this, hummed. “I don’t know, I get where he’s coming from on this. He needs to see how they work together, or against each other, and sparring like this makes the most sense. There’s honor in being able to fight well with your partner.” 

Shiro felt the cold pickle of magic creep up his right arm. It wasn’t real, a phantom sensation, but the new arm spasmed with anticipation and the ghost of searing pain. “He spoke to you, didn’t he?” 

The question threw Hunk, his head jerking up to Shiro, but he didn’t shy from it. “Yes, he did. He talked to me before his family got in. He wasn’t sure how to go about a task like this, and physical combat felt like a good way to test the waters. I told him it was probably a good idea since whoever his partner was, he’d probably want to spar with them.” 

Hunk was clearly trying to put Shiro at ease, but it made it ten times worse. 

Ever quick, Pidge picked up on it too. “He’d already announced the suitors from the third trail then, when he made this call.” Their eyes stayed on Shiro. 

“Well, yeah.” Hunk’s mouth was twisted in defense. “He’d want to choose what to do based on who was there.” 

“Hunk.” Pidge sat back down into their seat with a thunk. “Think about that. It means Keith is going to fight _Shiro_.” 

“Right! Shiro will have to… fight… oh. Oh no.” Hunk paled with realization. “Oh, Shiro. I’m sorry.” 

Shiro stood up from his chair and walked out, ignoring the shouts of his friends. 

* * *

Another fight with Keith swirled in Shiro’s head on his way to the venue. Their last fight. It had taken almost the entire trip back to Earth for Shiro to feel like this body was his own. By then the physical distance between him and Keith had become a deep chasm. It wasn’t ever discussed, but there was a mutual avoidance of sparring with one another after that. Shiro didn’t like to dwell on why that hurt, and liked dwelled on the root of that hurt even less. The slash of scar on Keith’s cheek was more than enough of a reminder. 

Even though the suitor’s matches wouldn’t be broadcast, it didn’t stop the media from dragging up the last time the Black Paladins had gone toe to toe. After the war, rumors of the clone facility fight had spread, despite only the Paladins and Krolia knowing. Speculation after Keith tore a hole in Honvera’s cruiser could have been where they started. Feeds monitoring the facility were also a possibility, though Keith did everything he could to make sure no remnants of what happened remained. There were times Shiro wished Keith hadn’t. If he saw the fight, maybe it’d be more than a phantom nightmare. 

Bright, midday light glinted off Sardek’s buildings and into Shiro’s eyes for a bare moment and he was in the building. The place smelled like sweat and metal, sparring rooms sectioned off to his right and left, but the Blade escort took him straight ahead. This room had full one way windows, tinted to keep the heat out, and a huge central mat. The Paladins, Krolia, and Kolivan were seated along the wall, two familiar humans beside them. Maggie visibly brightened when she saw Shiro and gave him a little wave. He nodded back and tired not to make it look like they knew each other well. Stirring up ill feelings in the other suitors was a bad idea right now. 

Shiro wasn’t the last to get there, but almost. He was seated between Xeg and Renvar, a strange tension already present between the two men. 

“All I’m saying is that it isn't our place to judge what he wants to do. This is an old form of the task but still respectable.” Renvar gestured with a spread hand, claw tips winking in the light. 

“And all I’m saying, Renvar, is that having all the bouts today is going to do nothing but wear him out needlessly.” Xeg had sounded tenser than Shiro had yet heard the man. This had to have been going on long before Shiro got there. 

“So you doubt his skill?” 

Xeg chuffed, clearly restraining a growl. “You forget I’ve fought with him, Renvar.” 

Renvar shifted, nearly learning over Shiro to glare at Xeg, “Maybe that’s why I’ve been the favored suitor—I’m not assuming things of him. Wouldn’t you think he’d rather that, Admiral?” 

Shiro looked steadfastly forward. ‘I think Keith’s already thought about both your arguments and doesn’t give a shit’ is what he wanted to say. “I’ve stopped presuming what he’d rather, and am focusing on what he’s asked.” 

Xeg grunted and shifted on his knees. Renvar laughed, loudly. “You don’t win a war without strategy, Admiral. No wonder he took the Black Lion from you.” 

“Boys, boys,” DJ’ik’s cool voice cooed. Shiro hadn’t heard the man speak much, but his composure was admirable. “Save the fight for our dear bridegroom, hm?” 

Shiro silently thanked DJ’ik. The upcoming fight with Keith was playing with his anxiety enough, he didn’t need more pissing contests with Renvar, nor to be between him and Xeg for one. 

At last, Sudjar showed, and Kolivan stood to address them. 

“The bouts will be to ten minutes or first yield. No weapons, and the bouts begin when the bridegroom calls start. Seron will be the referee, stepping in to stop any life threatening movements. Remember, the bridegroom has asked that you fight with your all—this is no friendly match.“ 

Shiro shifted to sit on his knees. Staying seiza and meditating might bring him through to his fight without losing his mind. 

They waited for what seemed like an eternity for Keith to enter the room. Shiro has almost expected special armor, but he wore a dressed down Blades uniform, his Commander’s trappings and insignia gone. Shiro was struck by the sight. The last time Shiro remembered Keith looking like this, wiry and wild with desperation, had been before his Trials. Now though the suit hugged his filled out muscles, on full display without the wrap. His hair was pulled into a tight French braid that curled back up around the back of his head in a woven bun. No way to use it against him. 

Seron, the ref, spoke quietly with Keith when he made it to the mat. Keith nodded, and started to bounce on his feet, testing the give of the mat. Seron, a slim Galra with pointed ears, looked as dubious about this as Shiro felt. 

“Suitor DJ’ik, to the mat!” Seron gestured to where DJ’ik would stand. 

“Wish me luck boys,” DJ’ik purred. “Or not.” He took his stance across Keith, cocky smile reminding Shiro too much of Lance. 

Seron called the match to begin, and despite keeping up, it was clear DJ’ik was on the defense. Keith hadn’t lost any of his agility, spinning literally circles around the other man. There was a moment Shiro thought Keith was in trouble, when DJ’ik caught a high kick at Keith’s thigh. Keith smirked, curled his leg around DJ’ik’s neck, and yanked him to the ground, Keith sitting neatly on his back. He flailed, but Keith easily snatched his arms and pressed them down to the mat, his legs locked over DJ’ik’s. 

“Yield.” Keith’s voice was little more than a growl. 

“I… I yield.” DJ’ik was slow to get up, wind clearly knocked out of him. Keith, in comparison, barely looked like he’d broken a sweat. 

“Match to the Bridegroom. Sudjar, to the mat!” 

Shiro kept his eyes on Keith as he gathered a bottle of water from Krolia and squirted a stream into his mouth. Krolia was telling him something, her voice much too low to carry. Beside them, Maggie and Joe looked a little shellshocked and Shiro had to stop himself from laughing. Seeing Keith fight for the first time was both a revelation and a terror. 

Sudjar fared better than DJ’ik had, but only just. It was clear they knew each other’s styles, but Keith’s unnatural reflexes for split second recoveries edged Sudjar out the entire fight. Xeg was a close call. He didn’t have the speed Keith did, but he had the brute size to pin Keith _hard_ when he caught him. Keith managed to break the hold three times before he was pinned seconds before Seron’s buzzer went off. 

Xeg let Keith go and he dropped into a crouch, cussing colorfully in English and Galran as he went. Xeg chuckled and helped him up. “We both know you would have gotten out of that if we had more time.” 

Keith smirked and pressed a hand to Xeg’s chest. “Just have to keep timers off the field so I can properly wear you down next time.” 

A loud cough separated them and Shiro, again, had to stop himself from laughing out loud when he realized it was _Kolivan_ who’d done it. Krolia's eyes met Shiro’s and hers were full of mirth too. 

“Renvar to the mat!” 

“ _Finally_.” 

Shiro shivered. Renvar’s voice held an undercurrent that set everything inside him on edge. The man curled his hands into tight fists and stood with purpose. Shiro felt anxiety ratchet up into his throat while Renvar squared up. Keith was busy talking with his family, clearly reassuring Maggie and Joe he would be all right. Renvar’s face was twisted in a smirk that was familiar, but on a different face. Shiro couldn’t put it together, and didn’t have a chance to. Keith was back on the mat and calling for the start. 

It was fast and explosive. Renvar charged and caught Keith around the middle, hauling him up and down for a slam. Keith landed, but braced and struck with both feet to Renvar’s chest, kicking him back. Renvar skidded away, only just staying upright. He wasn’t phased though, eyes bright, a deep growl rolling out from his chest. He snarled something in Galran at Keith and in a moment they were clashing again. Where Xeg relied on his size and strength stamina, Renvar was light on his feet, moving his massive frame with ease that matched Keith’s panther-like movements. Blow after blow was exchanged, with no clear winner on either side. Shiro was ready to settle back and watch them duke it out to the ten minute mark, when Keith shouted and was slammed to the ground, head first. 

Shiro’s vision swam. It took him too long to piece out what had happened, and it had to be against the rules. 

Renvar’s claws were snagged in Keith’s hair, his hand pushing Keith’s head into the mat while his knee was pressed hard between Keith’s shoulder blades. 

“Yield.” 

Keith squirmed beneath him, mouth moving, gasping for air, but said nothing. 

Renvar pushed down harder. “ _Yield_.” 

One moment Keith was thrashing like a fish out of water and then he stopped, body completely slack. Renvar grunted, backing off only just. “See, not so hard to ye—”

Keith’s body coiled and sprang in one moment. He pushed up, head snapping back to smash into Renvar’s, and bucked the man off of him enough to gain distance between them. 

Renvar held his nose in his hand, blood gushing out from under it. He looked murderous. 

Credit to Keith, he looked barely perturbed by the hold he’d just been caught in, hands loose by his sides, ready to come to blows again. Renvar pulled his hand away from his face, nose a bloody mess, fingers tensed and claws out. Shiro braced himself for more blood to hit the mat and in that moment the shrill ring of the buzzer cut the air. 

Beside him Xeg let out a long breath. 

“Draw match. Suitor Renvar.” Stepped to him and took him by the arm. “This way to the healing room.” 

Keith watched him go, tooth worrying his bottom lip. Renvar didn’t look back once as he was led out of the room by the ref. 

“Renvar didn’t expect that,” Xeg said quietly. “When he was a soldier, he never lost a single fight. I think he only surrendered when his cruiser was captured by the coalition because he knew he wouldn’t survive being hunted by Voltron or ATLAS.”

Shiro couldn’t take his eyes off Keith, but leaned closer to Xeg, head tilted so words could pass quietly. 

“Keep an eye on him,” Xeg whispered. 

Keith waited with his mother until Seron came back in, rushing to the ref and speaking to him in a hurried, hushed tone. It was several moments of tense conversation, and then the door opened again. Renvar stepped through, a patch over his nose and wry smile on his face. Seron was forgotten and Keith launched himself to Renvar, hands on his arms, petting down as he spoke to Renvar softly. Renvar curled down and pushed his forehead against Keith’s, lingering there. 

The ease of it threatened to break Shiro. Keith, shuttered, walls up, hard to trust others _Keith_ was openly receiving affection from a man he’d barely known a month. That was his best friend. The man who knew Shiro better than any other person in the universe. The one who confided in Shiro, who brought him back from the brink. 

He took a long breath. No matter what happened after this was all said and done, he was going to fight for his partner back. There was too much between them to let it die like this. 

“Suitor Shirogane to the mat!” 

Squared up, something fragile, and heavy as glass filled the air between them. All of the conversations until now felt like foreplay to this moment. Shiro tried to catch Keith’s eye before they began, but without a word Keith charged. 

The jump was unexpected, but Shiro had seen Keith fight enough to know what was next. He caught Keith by the calf, intercepting a kick to the head and throwing Keith to the mat. His new arm hummed pleasantly under the strain of combat. Shiro rolled his shoulder and crouched defensively—Keith wouldn’t be down long. 

True to form, Keith arched his back and vaulted up, already swinging with a punch. Shiro was able to dodge his right hook, but the sucker punch to the gut was eye opening. He was pushed back for a moment, but was able to duck and catch Keith by the stomach with his shoulder, tackling him to the mat. 

“Still got it, huh old timer?” Keith hiss, flipping them easily, trying to pin Shiro down. 

Shiro got his knees under him and slithered out of Keith’s grasp, spinning to face him in a low crouch. “Better have, got your best moves from me anyway.” 

Keith chuffed. “Not all of them.” 

They danced. Shiro would grapple Keith into holds. Keith would twist out of them like his bones were made of butter. Shiro forgot himself in the fight, sinking deep into the call of combat and moving against someone so evenly matched to him. Keith was faster, but Shiro hadn’t slacked in their years apart, and what he lacked in Keith’s reaction time he made up for in brute force. 

Keith would aim ten blows in twenty seconds, landing several, but Shiro’s one packed the punch of ten. The exchange of blows wasn’t what Shiro was worried about anyway. This match would be won keeping Keith from tangling him in a hold. Which he was currently failing at. 

Keith clamped himself around Shiro’s back, One leg locked his right arm down, and the chokehold was strong but not suffocating. Yet. 

“Yield,” Keith whispered in his ear. 

He had one hope here. Shiro took in as much air as he could and jerked forward, briefly choking himself in the crook of Keith’s arm, but it was enough to reach back, get a hold of Keith’s upper arm with his right, and rip Keith off him. Keith slammed onto the ground. 

Fast. He had to be fast. Keith was already turned around and halfway up when Shiro body slammed him back down. 

Shiro pressed down hard against the mat. Keith’s legs were trapped under his. One arm was stretched out above, wrist gripped tight. The other was trapped underneath Keith, behind his back, kept there by Shiro’s full weight against his chest and his right arm locked over Keith’s collar. 

“Yield.” Shiro said through grinning teeth. 

He waited for the snipe back, but there was nothing. Keith’s eyes were wide, pupils almost totally swallowed in slit diamond irises and yellow sclera. Keith had never looked at Shiro like that before. 

The sound Keith made could only be described as a feral sob. Shiro didn’t have time to process it because in the same second there was a knee in his nuts and he was flung to the mat. 

He choked, hand instantly cupping over where pain throbbed. When he opened his eyes Keith was standing over him, chest heaving, eyes golden. “Keith…” 

Keith ran. 

* * *

_He watched the body fall. Crash, really, into the rigging below. It would be hard to recover from that, and it gave him time._

_He savored the jump. Watched the other try and stand, hand reaching for the blade as he landed next to it. This would be quick, and then, he could finally rest._

_The energy to move must have come from self preservation. No bond withstood an onslaught like this. He was going to kill this man, just like he killed the others. Their wills to live were impressive, but_ she _had made him stronger. No matter that his blow had been blocked. The Red Paladin’s begging fell on deaf ears, his mission would be completed. They would both die on this barren rock—_

_“I love you!”_

Shiro woke up gasping for air. He frantically grasped for his arm, making sure it was still there. That it ended in a rounded shoulder, that no spikes ripped out of it. 

The room was whole, and so was he. Physically, at least. Inside, his mind was a mess, putting the dream together with hazy memories as cold realization washed over him. Keith had told him, he’d told him in desperate words in a dire moment. Cried it while Shiro burned _that scar_ into his face. 

“I tried to kill him, and he told me he loved me.” There wasn’t a way to quantify this pain. He’d known the fight was bad. He’d known that it had broken something open between them, a raw, weeping wound that they needed to mend in that moment. Instead Keith had focused on Shiro’s recovery, ignoring his own needs while Shiro tried to remember how to be alive again. 

Alive, after Keith had sworn his love on their deathbed. Hung on to the clone’s dying body at the expense of his own life. The memory of it buried so deep Shiro didn’t know the hurt of it, and Keith did what he always did with his hurt. Bore it in silence and let it sit on the pile of anguish that made up his life for so long. 

No wonder they fell to pieces.

The smell of ozone crashed into the room and suddenly a body was next to his on the bed. A body and a half, really. 

“Fuck, what the hell, Kosmo!”

“Keith?” 

The body next to him froze, and before anything else could happen, the other weight on the bed zapped away in a spray of light motes. 

“Damnit,” Keith hissed. He sighed loudly and sank down on the bed. 

Shiro cleared his throat, completely frozen under the blankets. “So, this is happening.” 

Keith snorted. “Yeah, because that stupid mutt doesn’t understand boundaries when I’m having a nightmare—” he shut his mouth with an audible click. 

Shiro shifted toward Keith. “You were having nightmares?” The words felt stupid coming out of his mouth after what happened at the trial. Of course that would trigger something in Keith, it had in him. 

Keith didn’t answer, just laid next to Shiro in the dark, unmoving. 

“I had them too,” Shiro whispered. He could just make out Keith’s profile, see the vague shape of a tank top and boxers, instead of miles of lace and silk. 

Keith twitched in his direction, and Shiro saw that his eyes were slit like they had been during the fight. _Both_ fights. The tip of a fang worried over his lip. 

“I dreamed about the fight.” Shiro swallowed. “Kuron’s memories aren’t always clear for me. Sometimes it’s just impressions of what happened. I have dreams though. I think he does it when he wants me to remember.”

Keith flinched and turned away from Shiro. “…you call him Kuron?” 

Shiro watched the tension in Keith’s shoulders for a long moment. “It means clone, in Japanese.” 

“Is he still… in there?” 

Shiro reluctantly broke his staring contest with Keith’s back, and rolled to look at the ceiling. “Yes. And no. He’s a part of me, like the person you used to be when you were younger. Still there and just as real as you, but not who you are anymore. Or, something like that. The dreams are his part of my subconscious, at least that’s how my therapist liked to explain it.” He turned back and Keith was staring at him, eyes wide with fear and hope. Shiro reached out, so slow it felt like it took an eternity for his palm to cup against the slash of scar up Keith’s cheek. “I dreamed I burned this into you. That I did it while you told me that you loved me.” 

The final piece of Keith’s armor shattered. Even in the dark, without the light of a desolate moon on them, Shiro recognized those eyes. They were the same eyes that had looked down on him as they both fell to their deaths. 

“You didn’t remember…” Keith whispered. HIs eyes were glassy.

Shiro shook his head, thumb still pressing softly over the scar on Keith’s cheek. If Shiro focused, it felt like Keith was leaning into the touch. “I’m so sorry, Keith. I’m sorry I didn’t try to remember. I’m sorry that I let those memories stay hidden, I didn’t think I wanted them, I didn’t know—“ 

In a flash Keith was on him, kissing him, pressing himself against Shiro like he wanted to fuse their bodies together. It was uncoordinated. Desperate and long overdue. 

Keith’s hips stuttered against his, the motion hesitant and unsure until he wrapped his hands around Keith’s back and pulled him down hard. The sound Keith made into his mouth, the whining moan, was something he was never going to forget. Keith’s hair was coming out of its braid and Shiro was just a man. He reached up and sunk his fingers in deep, curling them into the silken strands at the base of Keith’s skull and held him where he wanted him. Keith writhed, as wild as he’d been on the mat, desperate with a different fever. 

Shiro pulled back, taking every inch of him in. His blown pupils in yellow sclera above sharp fangs framed by wet, kiss bruised lips. Muscles were thrown in sharp relief in this light, every strong, lean line of them. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. 

“Shut up.” Keith sat back abruptly, still panting, and sat on Shiro’s stomach. He pushed his hands over Shiro’s mouth. “No more talking. Let me—let me have this.” He didn’t move until Shiro nodded and then everything slowed to a crawl. 

Exploration replaced urgency. Keith took his time, stripping them down and mapping Shiro out with light touches over every inch of his body, taking him apart stroke by stroke. When Keith had his fill of touch, he decided to taste. Shiro fisted his hand in the sheets while Keith’s mouth mapped each plane of muscle and wiry scar. Both of his suitor neighbors left long ago, but if he stopped biting his lip raw he was going to be loud enough for the whole compound to hear. 

It was a lost cause. The moment Keith’s lips pressed soft and sweet to the crown of his cock Shiro was a goner. Moaning like a porn star didn’t count as talking, right? He’d never made these kinds of sounds before. Without so much as a perfunctory bob, Keith swallowed him down to the root and began to give him the best blowjob of his life. He must have been babbling too much because during a shout two fingers crammed their way into his mouth, cutting it off. 

“God you’re louder than I thought you’d be. Lube?” 

Shiro whined around the fingers in his mouth. 

“Lube, Shiro. Bring your brain back online for two seconds and tell me if you have it.” 

He did. In his suitcase under the bed. A small bottle on the off chance he felt indulgent one night. He started to say as much and his tongue caught around the fingers in his mouth. He pointed instead. 

Keith was quick, lube in hand and back on Shiro’s dick in moments. When he again became too loud for Keith’s liking he ended up sucking Keith’s fingers, vaguely wishing Keith would flip around so he could suck on something else. 

That thought left him with great haste when Keith popped off his cock and moved to straddle his hips. Keith’s fingers pressed down against Shiro’s tongue. Violet, star bright eyes locked on his, and Keith sank slowly down onto Shiro. 

He wanted to scream. 

It was so good, and tight, and god Keith just kept taking him like it was nothing. Shiro wasn’t one to boast but he knew his wasn’t a dick you just _sat_ on like it was a chair cushion. Like Keith was, moaning softly as he tested it out, dragging himself up and down the length, biting his lip. 

“Fuck you’re big,” he hissed. 

Beneath him Shiro was ascending. 

Up until then, Keith maintained complete control of the situation. Even here, in bed, Keith was determined to stay in control. As he bounced on Shiro’s cock though, the composure began to fall away. His chest was flushed, splotches of purple bloomed over his skin, pinprick claws traced thin red lines on Shiro’s skin. When he started to tremble Shiro pushed up onto his knees and pulled Keith down into his lap. 

His eyes were wide, golden at the edges, slitted and scared. “I—”

“Hush.” Shiro kissed him silent. 

He touched. Every smooth inch of skin, ever raised line of scar, he memorized it with his hands. He sought out spots that made Keith hiss. Places that made his breath stutter and his strength falter. Shiro settled over Keith’s cock, hot and thick. He wanted to flip them onto the bed and explore the shape of it, familiar and foreign all at once, but he could feel the pleasure cresting inside him. A few more thrusts and he was gone, shuddering into Keith, mouthing at his neck. 

Keith squirmed, moaning in his ear as he unloaded, bucking into Shiro’s hand. When the haze of orgasm faded enough he redoubled his efforts, ignoring his oversensitive dick and brought Keith to the edge. 

“Shiro!” 

“I’ve got you.” Shiro pressed kisses all over his face. “That’s it, I’ve got you, just like that, baby.” Keith’s head fell to his shoulder, body still shaking in his arms. 

Slow, so slow, he rolled them back down to the bed, slipping out of Keith, and laying him on his side. His eyes were glazed, mouth slack as he breathed quietly through it. Shiro pressed another kiss to his forehead and got up to get a washcloth. 

In the bathroom, while the water warmed and he waited for the cloth to get soaked, what they’d done crashed over him. 

There wasn’t anything about this in the rules of the Tal’Xion. There hadn’t been any mention of what this meant for suitors. More than that he wasn’t sure what this meant for _them_. 

He wrung the washcloth out and stepped back into the room proper, heart thundering. Keith was still on his side, curled up and dazed. Shiro cleaned him up as gently as he could and threw the washcloth back to the bathroom. 

Keith’s skin was evening out, his breath deepening with each inhale. Shiro crawled over him and settled back down into bed. Long fingers found his, claws gone, and held on tight. Shiro pulled and Keith came, pliant and warm, curling into Shiro’s chest. 

He didn’t know how long they laid there for. He didn’t know if Keith was awake or not when he pressed his lips to his hair and whispered three words before sleep took him. 

In the morning his arms were empty, and Keith was gone. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feeling of Keith under his hands, on his skin, surrounding him, was still so fresh he wanted to cry. To bask in the soft memories of what it felt like to hold Keith like that. He was awash with it and didn’t want to let go of the rose-tinted memory just yet. If he did he might just break.   
> It was everything he ever wanted. He may have just paid everything to have it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE Thanks to Colie for editing the last two chapters of this for me last minute! 
> 
> Almost there folks, thank you so much for your patience ❤️

The bed was empty next to him, sheets still warm from Keith’s body. Shiro sat up slowly, he could still feel the pull in his muscles from what they’d done, the sweat cooled and stiff on his skin, among other things. His gut rolled as the reality of it all sunk in. 

This wasn’t something they could come back from. In fact, it was something that could get him thrown out of the trials all together. 

And yet. 

The feeling of Keith under his hands, on his skin, surrounding him, was still so fresh he wanted to cry. To bask in the soft memories of what it felt like to hold Keith like that. He was awash with it and didn’t want to let go of the rose-tinted memory just yet. If he did he might just break. 

It was everything he ever wanted. He may have just _paid_ everything to have it. 

* * *

Keith stumbled back home with the help of the wolf. The minute he’d peeled himself out of Shiro’s grasp he knew that he had to get out of there as discreetly as he could. In Shiro’s small bathroom he’d concentrated, the bond between him and the Wolf coming to life. The wolf materialized, crammed himself into the bathroom and poofed Keith back to his mother’s. He was only now aware of the distance the wolf had gone the first time, a long one for his companion. 

“Thanks, buddy,” he said, ruffling the wolf’s fur. 

He stumbled to his own bathroom next to his room and took stock. 

He was in his t-shirt and shorts, but it did nothing to hide all of the different marks Shiro's left on his body. He could feel him everywhere. On his skin, inside of him still. He winced when he moved and it pulled at the bruises on his hips. He was pretty sure Shiro hadn’t meant to do that but he wasn’t upset about it. 

He peeled his clothes off and got into the shower, hoping to wash a good amount of this away. 

He knew he couldn’t. 

Keith walked out of his room to Lance sitting on the floor in the hallway. 

“And where have you been?” 

Keith floundered, still reeling from what had happened. “Uh, in… there?” 

Lance pushed himself up, clearly stiff from sitting so long. “Uh-huh. That’s why when I heard you scream last night and came to check on you your bed was _empty_!” 

“I--”

“So who was is? Who did you sneak off to?” Lance tapped his foot, arms crossed. 

Keith’s mouth opened and shut, each name or excuse failing to pass his lips until Lance’s eyebrows shot up and his face went red. 

“What the hell Keith!” 

“Look--”

“How could you do that to him! What were you thinking?!” Lance wasn’t shrieking, at least, but his furious hissing was no better. 

“I wasn’t okay? It was a weird situation with the Wolf and then… yeah,” he said lamely. 

Lance sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You have to go pick out the three final suitors. Allura just came by looking for you. Don’t expect help from me.”   
  


They were situated in the garden, Keith at the large center table, newly reinstated after the second trial. Around him the paladins were laughing and chatting, occasionally checking in on him as he sorted through the suitors for the final three, photos of them scattered on the table. He kept Shiro’s picture far, far to the side not even wanting to think about what that meant. 

Lance hadn’t come to him at all, choosing to glare at him instead. He could still hear Lance’s tirade from that morning. 

He looked at Shiro’s picture again. It was the official Admiral’s portrait, the one they hung in hallways at the Garrison. He looked bright and new, his white hair shining in the light, and the white of his uniform crisp and clean. 

He looked beautiful and it hurt. 

“So.” 

He startled and barely had time to adjust to Maggie sliding into the seat next to his. “Who are we choosing for your last three?” 

Keith swallowed and looked back over the pictures. “I don’t know yet.” 

Maggie hummed and picked up the pictures herself. “Well, what was that last bit about? Where you fight the man who’s going to be your husband?” 

Keith sighed. “Well for Garla, it's about strength, if they can hold their own against you and vice versa. If you can’t go evenly in battle, physical or otherwise, then it’s not a good match.” 

“Sounds like you have experience in that arena?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Something like that,” Keith hedged. “So I keep going between these three.” He pointed to Ren, Xeg, and Sudjar. “They fought well, and true. I like that they challenged me. It makes me feel like they won’t just roll over, that we’ll be equals in decision making even if we’re on opposing sides, we’ll fight to work it out.” 

She hummed and looked over the pictures. She tapped on Sudjar’s picture. “This one?” 

“Sudjar. He’s a Blade like me. I haven’t worked with him much, but he’s dependable. Surprisingly funny too.” He thought back to their first outing together and how nervous the man had been until he accidentally cracked a joke. Keith had doubled over laughing and it had broken the tension between them. No matter how this ended, he still hoped he could be friends with him. 

“Right, so he’s comfortable, but no passion. And you need that.” She patted his knee. “You get that from me. All right, and this gigantic man?” 

Keith smiled, warmth pulling up into his chest. “That’s Xeg. We’ve worked together for a while. He’s older, but he’s always looked out for me. I feel safe with him. And he’s so… considerate? Kind. There’s a softness in him I didn’t know about until this happened.” 

“That’s important too, having someone you can relax fully around, and lets you know how much they do care. He makes your heart get all fuzzy, but still.” She gave him a knowing look. “Not enough passion.” She nodded at Renvar’s picture. 

“Ren. God we differ on so many things, nothing big but he makes me want to just—“ he took a breath. “Every conversation, every moment is just thrilling. I’m on my toes to keep up, or to keep him chasing. It feels like a rush that I never want to leave.”

Maggie hummed. “Passion, that’s what that is. And there’s a lot of it between you two. So we’ve got someone easy, someone caring, and someone passionate. That’s three isn’t it?” 

Keith cleared his throat. “Well..”

“Ah.” She cut him off and picked up the picture of Shiro. “The man you love is the problem.” 

“I don’t—”

“You do, don’t lie to me.” She looked at the picture hard. “Looks handsome here, but that’s not his real smile. He’s got a wonderful smile.” 

“I know.” Keith had seen that smile so close last night. Kissed it. 

He blinked and Maggie was smirking at him. “See, you love him, why are you trying to hide that? Just pick him, he clearly loves you back.”

“He hasn’t always. He left me, once.” Keith took the picture from her. “It’s a long story.” 

She leveled him a flat, unimpressed look. “Try me.” 

“All right…” 

It took a long time to get through it all, but he did. It felt like his guts had been pulled out and examined inch for inch.

Maggie had a thoughtful look on her face. “And he didn’t remember because it was the clone who heard you say it.” 

“How do you know—”

“He didn’t want to tell me anything, said it would be better coming from you. Joe agreed, but.” She sighed and took Keith’s hand. “You’re my grandson, and all I’ve got left of my Tex. I wanted to know everything I could. So, I took him out to thank him for all he was doing. I didn’t mention that the place I took him to was my friend’s, and that her bartenders always pour me doubles.” 

“You got him drunk?” 

“Oh, honey, no.” Maggie smiled, and Keith recognized the smile from his own face. “I got him downright shit faced.” She laughed. “He told me most of what you just did, about the same story right down. Except the part where the clone memories aren’t all there. The new information to you.” 

Keith swallowed. “Yeah. The thing I didn’t know. Not that it would have changed anything.” 

“It might’ve,” Maggie said softly. 

“How? If he’d loved me then he wouldn’t have gone off and—”

“So you’re punishing him.” 

Keith’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What?” 

“Well, he got married, which was a dumb thing for him to do, we all agree on that. And then he realized that he was really in love with you, had been for a long time, but you’d already decided to do—” She waved her hand around. “—this. So you couldn’t really give it a chance, and I don’t think you would have at the time anyway.

“And now,” she leaned in and tapped his picture. “It looks to me, an outsider who knows nothing about this alien marriage hoopla, that he’s winning. Because you love him.” 

“I’m biased.” 

Maggie’s face did some very acrobatic things in her incredulity. “You’re _supposed_ to be! Kid, you’re choosing a husband.” 

“I did something so stupid though.” Keith buried his head in his arms. 

“What, did you run off and sleep with him like some sort of trashy romance novel?” 

Keith groaned, hating how accurate that was. 

“Oh.” Maggie deflated beside him. “Well that was very, very stupid.” 

“I know.” 

She patted his back. “Still think it means he’s the one you want to marry. You’ve made him work for it, and he has. Even if you don’t jump right into marriage, take a long engagement and time to heal. _Together_.” 

Keith sighed and looked back up at the pictures. He had an announcement to make. 

* * *

Krolia arrived to inform them of their results in person, and prepare the three who would continue on to the final task.

Shiro shifted slightly where he stood in the courtyard with the other suitors. Most looked a little nervous, and he felt like he wanted to throw up. 

That night with Keith was nothing short of a mistake for a million reasons he couldn’t bring himself to fully regret, at least not until now. Krolia’s blank stare did nothing to ease the ache in his gut. He couldn’t tell if she knew what he and Keith had done. Though he had a feeling if she did he wouldn’t be standing right now. Fucking the bridegroom had to be some kind of taboo that allowed her to smite the deflowerer. Not that Keith was a virgin, that Shiro knew. Oh _god—_

“Suitors,” Krolia said in her detached, leadership voice. “I come bearing the names of the three men who will try to win my son’s hand. To those I do not name, please wait for me in your rooms. I have gifts of thanks and gratitude.” She pulled out a paper, though Shiro was sure she didn’t need it. “Xegothra of Ylna. Renvar of Galnax. And Takashi Shirogane of Earth.” She rolled the paper back up and tucked it away. “My condolences to Sudjar, and D’Jik, and my thanks in courting my son so honorably. Please, though, if you don’t mind.” She gestured behind them to the room doors, and they left. One with a stern glare to Shiro and he wondered if he and Keith _had_ been overheard. 

He didn’t have time to dwell on it, for Krolia was speaking again. “Your final task will be an act to prove your devotion to my son. How you accomplish this is up to you, and your action will be judged at a ceremony ten nights hence. In this final task you may ask to consult with those of us close to the Bridegroom, however it is within our rights to refuse.” Her gaze flicked to Shiro. 

“If there are no questions, I will see to the suitors readying to leave. Congratulations gentlemen.” She walked past toward freshly shut doors. 

Shiro couldn't breathe. He’d hoped, beyond all hope, and he was still here. Maybe it hadn’t been a mistake. If it had been, if Keith had regretted it, then he wouldn’t be here. He’d been aiming to win, but now a new fervor tugged at his heart. Shiro didn’t lose when he set his sights on something. 

Xeg came to stand next to him and clapped him on the shoulder. “Luck, Shiro. It’s an honor to have you as a final opponent.” 

“You too,” Shiro said, grasping his shoulder back. 

“Aw, no kind words for the third over here? That much of a threat, am I?” 

Shiro let his gaze slide from Xeg’s golden eyes to Renvar, still here for reasons Shiro did not fully understand. Maybe it was his passion that was met toe to toe with Keiths that had Keith’s attention, but beyond that Shiro was clueless. 

“No threat, but I don’t usually make it a habit to make nice with smarmy assholes,” Shiro growled. He was through trying to keep his tongue around the other man. 

Renvar’s lip curled up. “Come here little human, let’s really see what you’re made of that the whole Empire was enamored with your hide.” 

“We—” Xeg physically pulled himself up between them. “—have better things to work on than seeing who has a bigger cock right now.” 

Shiro had to bite his tongue to keep from mentioning what Keith thought about his cock. 

* * *

Ten days was too much time, Shiro thought. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, his father’s wedding ring ready for this moment. It was strange to have it ready with him now, for Keith, when using it hadn’t even been a consideration when he proposed to Curtis. 

That time felt like a dream now. Something baked up by bad writers who didn’t know what they were doing. This felt real though. 

Even with his plan well in mind, Shiro still took advantage of being able to meet with those close to Keith. He went back to the ranch he and Keith had ridden at, but this time it was only the other Paladin’s there with him. He stayed for a couple days, catching up with them all trying to calm his nerves.

After a wonderful dinner Hunk cooked, Shiro felt more sure about his decision. He hadn't talked about what he planned to do with any of the Paladins, but their general encouragement was enough. Though he still wanted to talk to one of them alone.

Shiro walked out onto the veranda, taking in the sight too. Sunsets on Daibazaal were something he hadn’t appreciated enough in his time here. The colors bled across the sky in purples and corals, the stars up all the way above them in the milky blue-violet winking at them. If he focused he could name them all. 

She stood there, hair unbound and shining in the waning light. Still one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. 

“So it’s me then?” Allura asked quietly as he stood next to her. “I thought you’d go for Hunk, or Lance, maybe even Kolivan.” 

Shiro shook his head. “No, I think you’ve got the best read on me, and that’s what I need.” 

Allura hummed, her eyes trained skyward. “We do both know what it’s like to be lost in a void of stars and space. Trapped in between when time is, and when it is not.” 

Shiro shivered, remembering the vast abyss of the astral plane. “Right. Was that what it was like for you? A never ending sky of stars and cold?”

Allura considered, her plush hair moving with her tilting head. “Sometimes. Other times I was in the universe, seeing it all at once, weaving the threads of time and reality back together. Sometimes I lived whole lives, and sometimes I was floating in darkness so black I thought I was nothing.” 

Shiro looked to her properly, their goddess returned. “I think I know what to do, but I don’t know if it’s enough.”

Allura smiled, her opalescent eyes sliding over to him. “I know what you did, you know. Naughty boys.” 

A blush, warm enough that Shiro felt feverish, crept up over his cheeks. “I—he—Allura—”

She chuckled and shook her head, walking toward the open field beyond them. “Come on Shiro, walk with me.” 

He followed her out, looking at the expanse of plain that he and Keith had ridden through. 

“Keith told Lance. Well, Lance figured it out when he caught Keith sneaking back home via wolf. I think his grandmother knows as well, if her looks are anything to go by. It was very foolish of you both to do that.” 

“I know.” 

Allura walked to the edge of where the long yellow grass started, her hands trailing over the tops of the tall blades. “I’m not really surprised. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing either, Shiro. You love each other, and this whole charade—” she stopped and looked right at him. “For it is a charade at this point, I hope you both realize that. There isn’t anyone Keith will choose over you, that would be petty and self destructive.”

Shiro swallowed thickly, waiting for her to continue. 

“I think Keith needs to be sure. He’s been hurt so much, in so many ways. More than any of us realized, I think. Except maybe you.” She looked out at the sky again. “I can’t tell you what you should do, or what act or promise will make him feel reassured that you’re going nowhere, but you know what you need to do and say, don’t you? After all, you know him best of all of us.”

“Do I?” Shiro felt emotion overwhelm him. “I thought I knew him better than anyone, but all this has shown me is that maybe I don’t. Maybe I never did know him like I thought I did.”

Allura snorted. “You do. Shiro you know him like you know yourself. Of course there are parts that change and evolve, but he’s your Keith, and you’re his Shiro. The core of that has not altered, not one bit. The outside emotions, the tension, the hurt, that is of course all there, but I doubt your connection has truly changed at all in years.” Allura turned to him, cupping his cheek in her hand. “He loves you so, Shiro. All you have to do is reassure him that this time, you’re not going anywhere.” 

* * *

The day of the final trial started much like the first trial had. Shiro dressed in the same kimono, shaking hands pulling it on. He walked there with Matt and Sam, both having arrived the day before to witness the last act. Sam was doubling as Shiro’s kin, as the rest of the Paladin’s were squarely with Keith this time. 

The Kral Xion loomed above him, but this time a different set of nerves coursed through Shiro. This time there wasn’t the uncertainty of if he would be allowed in, this time he just had to hope everything he was would be enough for Keith. 

It was complete deja-vu. They were announced one by one with the beat of drums heavy in the hall. Standing at the dais, draped in red and black lace, silver chains and hoops adorning his face and hair, was Keith. Shiro had never seen anyone so beautiful, and his heart swelled at the sight. It took long moments for the crowd to settle and the cameras filming this part to be placed just right. 

Keith would start, calling upon suitors in an order only he knew. He would speak on their trials, their reasons for remaining as his possible groom, and ask for their act to prove their devotion to him. 

Shiro held his breath as the whole hall quieted with a graceful hand gesture from Keith. His eyes alighted on each of them, bright violet searing into skin and soul. 

“Suitors,” he said, voice ringing out in the hall. “I thank you for your time, your acts of service and gifts of devotion, that you have given to me over these phoebes. I have gotten to know the three of you well. Better than I did before for some.” He looked to Shiro and Xeg with a small smile. “Others I learned of for the first time, and was so pleased by what I discovered.” 

Keith spoke like it was from a prepared speech, Shiro realized, his true feelings hidden under pretty words. He wondered if Allura helped Keith write it, since this wasn’t how he would speak at all normally. 

“Xegothra of Ylna,” Keith said, looking to the tall Galra. “You have served in the Blades with me for years, both a mentor and a friend. Your cunning in battle and tack in negotiations earned my admiration years ago, but what I have learned since is something I will never forget. 

“Your kindness, for one. I have been able to confide in you in ways I haven’t any one else in years. Your quiet acceptance of me, as I am, the good and bad, has been a balm. In you I’ve found peace that I didn’t know I could regain.” He reached his hand out toward Xeg, smiling. “Please.” 

Xeg stepped forward, dropping to kneel in front of Keith. “I have watched you grow from a young man into a fine leader, Keith. I can do nothing more than dedicate myself to you in the best way I know how.” He looked up to Keith. “Your life is one that has known loss in ways you know I understand. My act, my pledge to you, is that should you choose me to be your mate, I will honor you by retiring from the Blades, leaving my life away from harm or danger, so that you may know there is ever someone to return home to.” 

The gasp from the crowd was bigger than Shiro expected. Even Keith looked shocked by the proclamation. Shiro suddenly wondered if he’d miscalculated after all. 

Keith cleared his throat and nodded, tears in his eyes. “I hear your devotion, Xegothra. I…” he broke, the noble countenance disappearing. “Thank you, Xeg,” Keith said, voice shaking. “It means so much that you’d do that for me.” Keith sniffed and pulled his facade back up. “I am moved by your act and commend your devotion.” 

As Xeg retook his place cheers and shouts went up from where his kin were seated, along with quite a few Blades. Shiro recognized Sudjar and Zikhok in their bunch, cheering for their fellow in arms. 

The hall resettled at the sound of drums, and Keith had composed himself fully. He looked between Renvar and Shiro, as if still deciding who was to go next. He was looking at Shiro before he turned and said, almost quickly. “Renvar of Galnax.” 

Renvar straightened and smiled, the look alarming on him as it had always been. 

“You came to me an unknown. We had once met at a gala or something like, but never before like this. You not only proved to be of worth character, but you have met me toe for toe in every feat during these trials. 

“I am not an easy man to know, nor am I easy to befriend. You have managed both in this short time. You challenge me where you see need, and you support me where I feel I am lacking. Your stories and giving nature have made me smile more this time than I have in deacpheobs. I cannot express how much you have healed my heart with your warmth, your laugher, and your support. I am beyond grateful that I was able to know you.” Keith gestured for Renvar to come and he did, stepping closer than Xeg had, his eyes trained on Keith. 

“Keith of Kogane, the Black Paladin, the star of the Great War and the one man who united Daibazaal under a new front. I do not know what I can give you. But if I may, I would like to try and show how much you mean to me.” He took a step forward, his movement asking for permission to get closer. 

Keith looked surprised, but nodded, allowing Renvar up into his space. Around them there were whispers and quiet gasps as Renvar went up. It looked romantic, the way he was drawn to Keith. 

Something was wrong in a way Shiro couldn’t place because in the back of his mind he swore he heard Black _roar_. 

“I have long wanted to show you exactly what you mean to me, Keith,” Renvar said, his voice carrying along the hall. “I know that this isn’t the act you expected, or the one that perhaps is the most appropriate for the time, but this is the only act I can think of to express all that I feel in a way that you, and everyone witnessing it, will understand.” His head dipped low, one hand coming to cup Keith’s cheek, the other reaching up for his waist. Shiro saw the flick of his hand though, the subtle movement of his arm that at nearly every other angle would be too quick and smooth to notice. 

It happened all at once. 

Shiro launched, rushing toward the pair knowing it would be interference and his ability to be called the suitor would be forfeit. 

Keith gasped, loud in the tensed hall. 

And as his hand plunged forward into Keith’s gut, Renvar roared. 

“LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE!” 

Shiro tackled Renvar just as he was pulling back for another stab at Keith, ripping him away. Blood, thick and dark gushed out over Keith’s dress, staining the ground around them as he fell to the floor. There was chaos and noise like Shiro hadn’t heard since the war but he couldn’t think of any of it. Renvar was stumbling across from him, snarling at the loss of his target. 

“There he is,” he growled. “The little Champion who caught the eye of all the Universe. What are you going to do now, little Champion, that I’ve gutted your half-breed whore!” 

Shiro saw red and lunged, the override on his new arm kicking in, laser sword elongating for the first time since his clinical tests. 

Renvar parried, his short blade screeching along the edge of Shiro’s, but for all the finess in assassination attempts this man may have had, he was right. 

Shiro was the Champion of the Imperial pits. And this was not going to be a clean fight. 

He hacked at Renvar, watching as the man went from gleeful in his bloodlust to concerned at the way Shiro was fighting. He’d truly underestimated Shiro then, and Shiro used that as ruthlessly as he had in the sands among sweat and filth of the Galra Empire. 

He backed Renvar to the other end of the hall, keeping him at bay and eventually slicing his hand away, the knife and appendage skittering along the floor. 

“Monster!” Renvar yelled. “You demon!” 

“You will regret this in all your afterlives,” Shiro snarled, plunging this sword into Renvar’s chest, watching with satisfaction as the life faded from his eyes. 

Shiro came back to himself slowly, like he was really back in the arena, bloodlust clouding his every breath. Beneath him Renvar lay lifeless, eyes clouded over and blood spilling onto the ground just like… 

“Keith!” He deactivated his arm and ran, sprinting over the pockets of people fighting in the hall. He didn’t even try to process them, shoving people who tried to stop him out of the way. At the dais Xeg stoodwith his sword out, a small contingency of Blades around him, protecting the area. They parted like butter for Shiro. 

“Keith!” he skidded to a halt at the sight before him. 

Blood was everywhere, staining everything in front of him. Keith was laying in his mother’s lap as she held his hand. Kolivan was beside her, growling. Allura was at his side, eyes glowing, hands hovering as she did what she could. Keith was only looking at Shiro, mouthing his name, soundlessly. 

He dropped to his knees beside Keith, taking his other hand. “It’s okay Keith. I’m here, you're okay, it’s going to be okay.” 

“Just stay with us Little Star,” Krolia whispered, her voice choked with tears. “Stay with us, the medics are on their way. Allura?” 

“I’ve stopped the bleeding,” Allura said panting, “But I don’t know how long it will hold. We need to get him into a pod, _now_.” 

“Keith,” Shiro whispered, leaning low toward him. “Keith I’m here, baby, just hang on okay? Just hang on for me.”

“Shiro.” His voice was so faint. “Shiro I—”

“Shh, no Keith, don’t speak, save your energy, please.” 

“I love—”

“I know,” Shiro sobbed. “I know, I love you too, Keith, so much. Just stay with me okay? Stay with me Keith. You can’t leave me now, please.” 

“It was… you… Shiro…” Keith said. His mouth went slack and his eyes slipped closed. 

“KEITH!” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well,” Krolia sighed, her face taught, like this was an old argument she’d just lost. “No matter now since it’s happened. And Keith chose Shiro, at any rate.”   
> “That can’t count, he was—” Shiro cut himself off. He couldn't say the word, especially since it wasn’t true. Keith was still alive.   
> “You really think he didn’t know what he was saying while he laid there bleeding?” Krolia looked at him and raised a perfect eyebrow. “Shiro, please, I know that you two have a lot of things to work through but do not ever doubt my son’s love again or I’ll stick you like you stuck that traitor, Renvar.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU!!! 
> 
> This was a huge labor of love and while I didn't keep the timeline I wanted on it (thanks 2020) I'm happy I was able to post the last two chapters of this on Sheith's wedding anniversary. 
> 
> The BIGGEST thanks to Colie, my editor extraordinaire and magic worker with works. 
> 
> And thank you to everyone who was following this story with so much love and support. I can't believe it's over but I'm happy how we got here. 
> 
> To many more years loving these idiots and all their realities!

“No, no, Keith! Keith! Stay awake! Keith!” 

Krolia wailed, shouting with Shiro, trying to pull Keith back, to keep him with them. The hall was chaos, but the Blades held the line around them. Shiro was dimly aware of Maggie and Joe crying next to him. Of Lance crowing with Pidge as they took down whoever Renvar had brought with him for his charade. 

Eventually the din calmed down, singular voices shouting about those captured or now dead. The medics arrived shortly after, shooing them away and scooping Keith’s limp form up and into an emergency pod. Shiro hovered every step, unfazed by the Galra medics trying to keep him back and out of their way. Eventually they gave up, letting him follow them out of the hall and into the transport, his eyes on Keiths’ vitals displayed over the glass. 

It was a long, harrowing ride. The red on the glass above Keith changed rapidly. He was assured it was normal, and that Keith was stabilizing, but he couldn’t be sure, he knew what death tasted like, and it was sudden and without reason. 

At the hospital Shiro was told, by a very strong Galra, to wait in the family area while they took Keith away. He tried to push against the man but couldn’t, the fight drained out of him after killing Renvar. 

He stayed in the little, secluded room, pacing as he was forced to wait. Eventually the rest of the family came in, Krolia at the lead, shouting for doctors. Kolivan had to follow her back out of the room as she screamed demands about her son. 

Allura came toward Shiro and he shrugged her, and Lance, off, instead resigning himself to pace and fret. Maggie and Joe were huddled in a corner with Hunk, waiting, terrified. 

It felt like hours until Krolia came back, muttering that he was still stable, but not yet in the clear. Shiro still couldn’t sit, his movements jerky and the only thing keeping him from breaking down into a million pieces. 

This was not how it was supposed to happen. Renvar was not supposed to be _this_ kind of threat. 

“How did he even get through to do the trials like this?” Pidge asked the room. 

No one answered, no one wanted to. 

Eventually it was Maggie who calmed Shiro into a chair. 

He wasn’t sure how she did it, but he was finally sitting, the rush of adrenaline fading out of his system. 

“He’s going to be fine,” she was saying, petting over his hand. “You protected him from that awful jackass and he’s going to pull through, because of you, Shiro.” 

Shiro nodded dumbly. If he had gotten there faster though, shouted to Keith when he heard the warning in his mind… If Black hadn’t have warned him— 

The door to their waiting room opened but it wasn’t the doctor. Xeg walked in, changed out of his formal attire and instead in some simple civilian clothing. He looked around at who was present and then turned to Kolivan, who nodded at him. 

“Well, usually this would be a more private debrief, but I supposed everyone here is high enough along the chain or close enough to Keith to know.” He cleared his throat. “Renvar was part of a deep cover operation by Imperial loyalists. He’d been in the employ of one of Zarkon’s most efficient spy Orders, the ones who went to conquered worlds and colonies as simple peons in the Galra Empire to report on the locals. He apparently had taken down enough rebel cells that he was highly decorated in secret. We’ve just received the files on who he really is, and was, within the Empire.” 

“How many of his order are left?” Krolia asked. 

Xeg shook his head. “Looks like the majority of them were present today and thus taken out or taken into custody. They’ve been planning something like this for a long while, positioning Renvar to get close to Keith. When the Tal’Xion came up, they used it as the opportunity to enact their plans.” 

“I still don’t understand what Keith saw in him,” Pidge muttered. 

“Challenge,” Shiro answered hollowly. “He saw someone who could meet him where he stood, without judgment or pity or jealousy. And, for all that I hated him, he was charming.”

Krolia sighed, hanging her head. “He was. For Galra the way he held himself wasn’t as cocky as he may seem to others. He was a proud, strong, young man, and we all fools for giving in to his charisma.” 

“It happens,” Allura said quietly. “It’s hard to see it in the moment, when you don’t want to keep looking for enemies in everyone anymore.” 

Shiro watched as the shadow of Lotor fell over Allura for a moment, eased only by Lance’s hand over hers. “She’s right. I hated him for his attitude and how he liked riling me up, not for anything nefarious. It’s hard to make someone a villain for simply not liking them, without proof of wrong.” 

“Yes, but gut instinct isn’t something to be totally ignored,” Maggie said with a snort. She looked at Krolia. “I told you that one was bad news.” 

“Well,” Krolia sighed, her face taught, like this was an old argument she’d just lost. “No matter now since it’s happened. And Keith chose Shiro, at any rate.” 

“That can’t count, he was—” Shiro cut himself off. He couldn't say the word, especially since it wasn’t true. Keith was still alive. 

“You really think he didn’t know what he was saying while he laid there bleeding?” Krolia looked at him and raised a perfect eyebrow. “Shiro, please, I know that you two have a lot of things to work through but do not ever doubt my son’s love again or I’ll stick you like you stuck that traitor, Renvar.” 

Maggie elbowed him. “This is where you say ‘yes Ma’am’.” 

“Yes Ma’am,” Shiro squeaked. 

Xeg chuckled and took the seat next to Shiro. “I’m out then?” 

Shiro blanched, feeling rather guilty. 

“Afraid so, Xeg.” Kolivan gave him a sympathetic look. “Though I think it might have been you if not for Keith being so devoted to Shiro.” 

“That is a comfort, though I knew I would be no competition. I was glad to be there for Keith though, through this.” He turned to Shiro, a small smile on his lips. “He really does love you.” 

“I know,” Shiro said thickly. “I hope I can live up to what he’s given me.” He looked down at his hands, and his new, expensive kimono, completely bloodied. “Could someone get me a change of clothes?” 

* * *

The smell of coffee, of all things, was what brought him fully awake. Keith had been drifting for a while at that point, he knew he was in the hospital, that he was hurt, but beyond that there wasn’t much. 

He opened his eyes to the blank, pale lavender ceiling. He wished Altean healing pods were standard and not this half-in half-out method of healing. The preferential Paladin treatment had been such a blessing. 

He groaned, pushing up into a sitting position slowly. The wound in his gut pulled and he winced, covering it with his hand. Right. He’d been stabbed by Renvar. 

“Fuck,” he hissed. 

“Keith?” 

He was really out of it if he hadn’t even noticed Shiro sitting there on his left, slumped over in the chair, half on Keith’s hospital bed. “Shiro…” 

Shiro’s eyes went glassy, silver shining under the hospital lights. He sniffed and tried to pull the tears back, Keith could see it in his face, but it didn't work. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I got stabbed by a man I was thinking about marrying at one point.” Keith groaned and eased back down against the pillows. God this was an awkward feeling. 

“You were thinking about choosing him?” 

He could have laughed with how Shiro sounded. Like a kicked puppy. Like Keith hadn’t spent his last possible moments telling Shiro it was him, and would always be him. “No, not really.” 

“Oh. I should call the—”

“I meant it,” he said. “It’s you, Shiro.” 

Shiro sighed. “Keith, I…” he made a strange sound, cut off and awful, before reaching over and clicking the call button for the nurse. Keith watched him sit back up, staring at the far wall for a single moment, and then Shiro burst into loud, wet, heartbreaking tears. 

“Hey. Shiro, hey, it’s okay.” Keith reached his hand out and Shiro took it, collapsing over it. 

“Fuck, _Keith_. You almost—“

“I didn’t.” He pushed himself up as much as he could, making sure he stayed touching Shiro as the man sobbed into his lap. 

The nurse almost backed out of the room when she saw what was happening, but then did a double take realizing Keith was awake. 

Gently, she pulled Shiro back into his chair where he wiped at his face and tried to get his breathing back under control. 

Keith kept a worried eye on him while the nurse went over his vitals and told him she would get the rest of his family. 

Alone again, Keith took Shiro’s hand. “You going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” Shiro said, still sniffling. “Yeah just. Fuck Keith, I thought I lost you.” 

He laughed, he had to. “Welcome to the club.” 

Shiro’s eyes went wide and he tried not to laugh but couldn’t not. “Oh my god, Keith that’s awful.” 

“It’s true.” Keith leaned back with a wry smile. “Almost nice to be on the other end of it, though I hate that it’s with a stab wound—“

“Keith!” 

“What? I’ve done this with you how many times now?” He laughed darkly. “A little payback can’t hurt.”

Shiro shook his head. “You’ve don’t it to me twice too.” 

“Oh? Twice compared to when you crashed, and I saved you. And when you went dark in Black, and I knocked you out of the tractor beam. And when we were stranded on that planet. And then pulling your ass out of the middle of space—“

“That wasn’t technically me.” 

“—and _then_ at the Kral Zera when I dismantled all those bombs. Forgot about that too didn’t you? And then I pulled you out of Black. And _then_ I killed Sendak—“

“I killed Renvar.” 

Keith dropped his hands that he was ticking times he’d saved Shiro off on. “Oh.” 

“I’m sorry Keith. But he stabbed you and then I was on him, fighting him back. I… I wish I could say it was just instinct that took over. But he’d hurt you and I…” He sucked in a shaky breath. “There it is.” 

“Well.” Keith tried to digest this. He knew that something would have happened to Ren but… him being dead sat strange in his gut, along with the betrayal. “You did what you had to. I’m not… I’m not upset that you did it, Shiro. It’s just—“

“Upsetting,” Shiro finished for him. “It always is.” 

Keith sat and stared down at his legs, in the corner of his vision he could see Shiro’s hand holding his. He pulled at it, and Shiro came. without a word he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Keith to him, letting Keith rest his head on his shoulder. 

“Where do we go from here?” 

Shiro sat quietly next to him. Slowly, every so gently, he took Keith’s hand in his. “That’s up to you, Keith. Where do you want this to go?” 

“I…” 

Keith’s door burst in, a veritable hoard of people entering the room at once. 

“Keith! Oh little star.” Krolia descended on him in a flurry, hugging his head to her chest. “You have to stop doing this to me.” 

“It’s not that often,” he chuckled. 

He deserved the slap on the back of the head he got. 

Maggie was a little worse for wear, having to go through this for the first time with Keith. The Paladins weren’t much better, surprisingly. 

Shiro had already had his cry, and stayed a stable presence at Keith’s bedside through it all. 

He never once let go of Keith’s hand. 

* * *

The last time Keith was in a hospital like this had been on Earth after the Lions had fallen. During that time Shiro had duties and resurrecting himself from the dead to deal with. It amounted to a lot of paperwork to slough through and little time to really sit with Keith in his room. 

He regretted that. He always regretted that he didn’t hear Keith was awake until it was so late at night he was asleep again. He hated that meetings the next morning, and briefings, and a million other little stupid things had kept him from Keith for a whole day. 

Keith never said a word about it, but it was clear from his face that he felt Shiro’s lack of presence. Maybe that was when the rift between them had really begun. Because the last time Keith had been so injured Shiro had been the one cleaning his shoulder in the shower. He was the one who sat with Keith and told him being part Galra didn’t make him a monster while Keith _sobbed_. 

That was what should have happened every other time Keith got hurt, but it wasn’t. Shiro was sure he’d carry it with him forever. 

Keith was released to go home two days after Renvar stabbed him. Shiro only left the hospital to make an official report about the incident with the Galran Government, and the Blades. 

When he went home with Keith, Krolia and Kolivan taking them, he expected to end up back at the family estate. 

Instead they went to a high rise Shiro had never seen before. Keith was shy on the way up, and Shiro was horribly belated in realizing why. 

This was Keith’s place, his apartment that he hadn’t stayed in for the duration of the trials. Shiro took a small step in, and then another. It felt like intruding on holy ground. 

“Shiro, through here!” Keith called. 

It was like moving through a dream. The hospital had been something almost normal, in the broad stroke of their lives, but this was a different version of intimacy that drove home that Keith chose Shiro. 

This could be where they started a life together. 

“Shiro?” 

Keith came back out from the depths of the apartment, shooing Krolia and Kolivan away with a quiet word. “Hey, Shiro, what’s wrong?” 

“Is this real? Are you sure, Keith?” 

Keith looked up at him, violet eyes soft. “You fought so hard to get me, and now you can’t believe that you did?” He pressed his hands against Shiro’s chest, leaning close. “I’m not saying that everything is alright, but I am saying we need to start really trying. Right now. And that’s real, Shiro.” 

Shiro took another gulp of air and nodded. “Okay. Real.” 

His things had already been moved to the apartment, stacked neatly in the hallway. Shiro didn’t know what to do with them so he left them there while Krolia made them all a light lunch. There would be a feast in a few days, something official to make up for the poor ending of the last Trial. 

“You’ll have some time to yourselves until then,” she said as she and Kolivan were leaving. “I’ve made sure of it, and secured promises from your friends that they won’t barge in.” 

Keith chuckled and leaned into Shiro’s side. Shiro almost didn’t hear what Keith said he was so taken aback by the subtle movement. “Thank you, and tell Hunk he doesn’t need to drop off meals either, you know he’ll try.” 

Krolia promised and the door shut on the pair, leaving them alone. 

Keith pulled away and moved into the apartment, heading for a long, large sofa in the living area. Shiro felt adrift and followed him slowly, sitting down only when Keith gestured for him. 

“Why is this weird,” he asked. 

“Because we had probably the biggest fight we’ve ever had, and then you barged in on my attempt to arrange a marriage.” Keith leaned back against the sofa, eyes closed. “This whole thing is fucked up, Shiro.” 

“I know.” 

“I didn’t say _you_ fucked it up.” He cracked an eye open. “Don’t argue, I know that tone. This isn’t entirely your fault alone.” 

Shiro rubbed a hand over his face. “Can I…”

“Yeah. C’mere you idiot—oh!” 

Keith had clearly not expected Shiro to flop down, head in Keith’s lap. “I want to sleep for a week.” 

A warm hand carded through his hair. Keith hummed. “We could, got a pretty big bed.” 

“I can’t believe we did it before you’d made a choice,” Shiro groaned. “What the fuck was I thinking?” 

“You? What was _I_ thinking? I should’ve gotten the Wolf back in there asap.” 

Shiro grabbed Keith’s arm and pulled his wrist to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there. “Do you regret it?” He opened his eyes to Keith looking down at him, small eyed smiling. 

“No. Not even a little bit.” He easily flipped their grips and pulled Shiro’s hand up to kiss his palm. “Kinda want to do it again.” His mouth curved up, pretty and sultry. Push lips pushed against Shiro’s fingers, and his exhaustion was suddenly gone. 

“Do you have any idea what those outfits you’ve been wearing did to me?” He growled, sitting up and pushing his hand into Keith’s hair. 

Keith purred, leaning into the grip. “So they did their job, huh?” 

“You shit.” Shiro kissed him hard and fast, relishing in the feeling like he hadn’t last time. 

It was easy to get lost in Keith. The feeling of his warm mouth and strong body. Easy to get led up off the couch and stumble, clothes shed by eager, clumsy hands, to a large plush bed. 

Shiro fell back onto it and watched Keith pull off his last layers—t-shirt and briefs—the only thing left on him was the light from the windows kissing his skin. 

“I am such a fucking idiot,” Shiro whispers. His hands reached for Keith, desperate. 

Slowly, letting his hips sway and body curve, Keith went. The new scar on his stomach was pink and shiny, and Shiro wasted no time in pressing his mouth to it. He pushed Keith over onto his back and kissed each scar, each beauty mark. Every inch he’d been denied that frenzied night he took now. 

Keith gasped when Shiro left bites along the edges of the scar from his Trials. “Fuck, Shiro. I think that was it for me.” 

“What was?” Shiro asked, voice rough. He licked over the bruises forming over the marred flesh. 

“When I knew I wouldn’t ever love anyone else,” Keith whispered. “You barging into my room and pushing me into the shower. Cleaning the wound even after it had crusted over—”

“Because you refused to even acknowledge it being there,” Shiro growled.

“I was distracted. But you didn’t let it go, you made sure I was okay. And you were so gentle and when I…” His voice caught, the memory superimposed over the moment now too much to bear. “You held me so tenderly while I cried. Shiro, no one had ever done that for me before, and I’d never felt so safe.” 

Shiro had pulled back and was looking into misty violet eyes. “You were so scared that finding out you were Galra would make me leave you.” He kissed Keith’s forehead, his eyes, his nose. “I couldn’t let you think that, ever.” 

Tears slid down Keith’s cheeks. He petted over Shiro’s face, hands keeping him close. “You came back to me.” 

Shiro could feel the tears in his own eyes break free. “I always will Keith, always.” 

This time Shiro worshipped Keith as he’d wanted to before. He pulled out the pleasure, let it simmer between them until they were both panting messes. The weight of Keith’s cock in his mouth, the taste of him on his tongue, it was peerless. 

“What do you want?” Shiro asked, pulling away from eating Keith out, pressing his wet mouth to Keith’s thigh.

“Fuck, Shiro, I don’t care. I just want you.” Keith’s chest was flushed deep red, his straining cock dusted purple around the tip. 

He didn’t remember Keith passing him the bottle of lube, but it didn’t matter. He made short work of the prep and was sinking down onto Keith’s cock with a fulfilled groan, savoring the stretch and burn. 

Perhaps too much. He was flipped onto his back and Keith was pushing in, growling into his neck. Where everything had been a controlled dance before, this was wild and needy. Keith laid waste to Shiro’s neck, sharp teeth leaving deep marks in his skin. When Keith pulled back to look down at his work, his eyes were narrowed and yellow at the edges. 

He looked like a god. 

Shiro gave himself up as sacrifice, surrendering to everything between them until Keith was a spent mess above him, quickly bringing Shiro to his own end. 

“Holy fuck,” Shiro gasped. Keith collapsed to his side, sweat and come drying on them both. 

“Mmm,” Keith hummed. He had one leg flung over Shiro’s, his waning dick wet against Shiro’s thigh. 

“Not falling asleep this time either,” Shiro chuckled. 

Keith pried open an eye to glare at him. “Where the hell am I gonna go, s’my apartment.” He pinched Shiro’s side and non-too-gracefully rolled up and off the bed. Shiro stayed and listened to Keith in the bathroom. 

He came back pinked and fresh, with a washcloth in hand. Shiro winced a little as Keith cleaned him up, especially when Keith got to his neck. He had to go back for another cloth. 

“Which one of us got come all the way up there?” Shiro asked. He winced as the cloth pulled over where Keith had bitten him and he blinked. “Or is it not that?” 

Above him Keith flushed and kept dabbed at Shiro’s neck. “Sorry,” he grimaced. “I got carried away. Galra instincts.” 

That was new information. “What like a mating mark?” 

Keith swallowed and gruffly instructed Shiro to hold the cloth while he got some bandages. Shiro stayed where he was, mulling this over. He’d heard of races who did this, in some form or another, so it wasn’t really a surprise people like the Galra would. 

“I’m not upset,” he said when Keith came back. “I didn’t even notice I was bleeding.” 

“Still.” Keith pulled the cloth away, pinked and red splotched, and bandaged the marks. “Didn’t mean to do it without warning or asking you.”

Shiro chuckled. “I think I kinda like it. I don’t know if my teeth can do it back, but uh, if you wanted sometime…” 

Keith went bright red and muttered something affirmative while he cleaned up. 

They stripped the covers off the bed, dirtied and starting to stiffen, and curled up together under the top sheet. They’d need to get up and eat and do other things, eventually. 

For now Shiro was content carding his fingers through Keith’s unbound hair and stealing soft kisses. 

“What do we need to do now? For the end of all… this.” He gestured widely. 

Keith hummed and pressed his face into Shiro’s neck. “What you did counts as your act, that’s why I could name you. But what _were_ you going to do originally?”

“Propose.” 

Keith pushed up to stare at Shiro, violet eyes wide. “What?” 

Shiro rolled off the bed and traced back to where this pants had ended up. The little box had stayed with him even after sending off his bloodied kimono. He really hoped the cleaner Xeg had taken it to could fix it. 

Keith eyed the box like it was a bomb. “What the hell, Shiro.” 

He sat down on the bed in front of Keith, holding the box sheepishly. “It was my dad’s.” He lifted the lid on the simple platinum band. “It was with his haori-tie when I dug it out. I knew I had it, thought about giving it to Curtis, but didn’t feel right. It was my dad’s not his.” 

One of Keith’s long fingers reached out and traced the band. “But it feels right now?” 

Shiro smiled. “Yeah. It really does. Keith?” 

Keith looked up at Shiro, eyes glossy. “Shiro?” 

“Marry me.” 

* * *

Epilogue 

Shiro loosened the tie on his suit and found his way to a chair to plop down in. All around him dancers continued, wedding festivities still going strong. 

He was glad to be out of the fray, if even for a moment. 

Someone plunked down into the chair to his left and a cool drink slid into his vision. “Yes, thank you.” He took the drink and downed half of it in one go. There was nunvill in it, but he didn’t exactly care. 

Keith laughed and patted Shiro on the back. “That’s what you get for being on Allura’s side with Coran.” 

“I didn’t think it’d make me a pseudo royal,” he huffed. 

Allura was dancing with Lance again, her multi-chrome dress resplendent against his white suit. The wedding was a long time coming, and it was healing to see it finally happen. 

Their empty table filled up as the song changed, Pidge and Hunk sliding into chairs with their own drinks. Pidge had been in the same shoes as Shiro and looked totally spent. Hunk sat down with three different glasses and was pouring different amounts of them into a fourth empty one. 

“You two,” Pidge huffed, head tilted back. “Had better not pull any of this grandeur shit when you finally decide to follow through with your wedding.” 

“When is that gonna be by the way?” Hunk finished off his experiment and push it toward Pidge. “Here, it’ll either give you some energy back or you’ll blackout for the rest of the night.”

Pidge leaned back up and squinted at the purple drink. With a shrug they downed it. “You’re keeping an eye on me. And ditto what Hunk said, when the hell are you two actually getting married?” 

Keith leaned forward to rest his head on Shiro’s shoulder and flipped Pidge off. “When we’re ready.” 

The end of the Tal’Xion had legally wed them within Galran law already, but they still hadn’t gotten around to a ceremony. 

The first few months after were spent digging through the rest of what lay between them. There had been a lot of shouting, but an equal amount of makeup sex. Shiro was proud to say they’d been able to keep their early promise of never going to bed mad at each other. 

Then it was moving Shiro’s position at the Garrison around. It was a little eyebrow raising to have him as the new senior liaison to the Blades and Daibazaal, especially since the position was newly made _for_ him. But it kept him with Keith, and that was what mattered. 

After that Lance had finally proposed, properly, to Allura, and their wedding was a galactic event that required everyone’s focus for the last year. 

“We will when we’re ready,” Shiro said. 

“It’s been three years,” Pidge deadpanned. 

“What? Since we had to watch these two try and figure themselves out while Keith almost got married to a man who wanted to murder him?” Lance had appeared out of nowhere, Allura beaming at his side. “We know. Allura and I even talked about having a double wedding.” 

“The Altea Council wouldn’t allow it,” Allura sighed. She looked truly put out. 

Shiro didn’t need to see Keith’s face to know it was pale with horror. “We’re fine figuring it out on our own. It’ll probably be really simple and small anyway.”

“Twenty minute ceremony and then drinking, lots of drinking,” Keith said. 

They all laughed, the sound no longer as rare as it had been. 

“Hey.” Lance leaned forward, eyebrow wiggling. “Wanna sneak out of here?” 

“Lance!” Allura smacked his arm. 

“I’m serious, we’ve done what we needed to. Shaken hands with the important people or whatever, why don’t we just blow this joint for the night?” 

Hunk gave him a long suffering look. “Lance, you remember the last time we did this?” 

“Yeah, we snuck out to get some girls—”

“Ended up imposing on me and my roof time,” Pidge grumbled. 

“listened to alien chatter, watched Shiro crash to the earth—”

“Tried to get in my way of saving him.” Keith rolled his eyes.

“Hopped on a suicidal hover bike ride with Keith--”

“So glad I was passed out for that,” Shiro muttered. 

“And went and woke up a beautiful princess—”

“I still can’t believe the first thing I noticed about you were your ears. I love them now you know that right?” Allura sighed. 

“And thanks to all that we’re all living our best lives in a universe we saved.” Lance shrugged. “What could go wrong this time?” 


End file.
